Emotional support for prostate cancer
Running a prostate cancer support group for gay men has opened me up to the psychological and sexual price we pay having prostate cancer. Our personal identity is closely tied to our self-image. With cancer, that image can take more of a hit than it should or needs to! It's important to have a safe space to talk about our joys and fears, our triumphs and our sorrows. Talk about your challenges-and triumphs-below. We are more than our diagnosis!
I so agree on the need to speak up about the many prices men and their partners pay .. before... during and ...after a prostate cancer diagnosis and treatment.
After being partnered for 50+ years and unexpectedly being thrust into exploring the dating world after my wife's sudden passing was indeed a significant mental and emotional challenge .
Fortunately it appears I am in a new relationship and discovering a future that is not all about "rising to the occasion" Rather it is one that is about supporting each other on many levels on this journey known as life. Yes ... there is intimacy. Yes ... it is different . And Yes... very fulfilling – but only if willing to explore new ways to view life and the years ahead . Dennis (ProstateCancer.net TEAM)
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I can't even imagine how difficult this is for you. You have such a beautiful way of remembering her and your gratitude for the time you had together, is really special. I love the selfless act of making someone else smile. What a wonderful way of trying to make yourself feel better. I am going to incorporate this into my own life. Thank you for sharing with us. Sending you strength. Jill, prostatecancer.net team How we adjust to the death of a spouse is unique to us. The one thing I discovered on my journey after a 57-year marriage was there is no right or wrong way to grieve.
I applaud your mission to make others smile ... so just know you just made my day too 😃👍 Dennis(ProstateCancer.net TEAM)
Thanks Dennis. I agree and only wish that I felt equally empowered every day. The whipsaw experience of going on and off ADT has me having to find a way to smooth out the physical and psychological changes that occur with treatment. I've been off ADT for a few months but know that when (not if) I'm back on ADT drugs and probably additional drugs, I'll need to rely more heavily on my solid base of hope and support. When I went off meds it was easy to forget all the support I need. But as my PSA surges and my treatment becomes more challenging, I know I'll be counting more than ever on this site and my support group and my partner and my friends. I'll manage, for sure! But for those who who haven't found that support, I want to tell them Dennis and I and so many others are here for them just as so many have been here for us! Just to let you all know...I'm here for me as much as for you....we're all in this together!
Hope this note finds you well. Sorry, I could not get back to you sooner as of late I have only been here occasionally. There were a few things that occupied my time ... the loss of a spouse of 57 years, the sale of my home, building a new one, and then moving out of state. For added "fun" I also found myself battling a 2nd reoccurrence along with a few doses of stereotactic radiation.
I hope your Oct readings went well. Should your numbers increase as mine did recently just know other treatment options are out there. You may also want to explore other treatment centers and specialists if you are you are not comfortable with how things are going. I did that back in September and it was a good move. The one + if you call it that is ... PCa is slow-growing. That often means you have time to explore options and ask more questions. 🙏🏻 Dennis(ProstateCancer.net TEAM)
Hello, Dennis
THANK YOU for your reply. Sorry to hear of the loss of your spouse, and the additional challenges you faced. i hope that things are better now. Will keep you and family in our prayers. As for me, my PSA has remained at "zero", with most recent reading 0.22. i do keep a close watch, as my cancer is moderately aggressive; so, i chose to treat it aggressively in its early stages with hormone blockers, followed by radiation. Am careful with fitness and working on diet.
i am blessed with a great cancer team in Colorado, which i have elected to retain even though we relocated to Texas. i have a local urologist. All are board-certified. Take care, and best wishes for success!
Sometimes we just have to tough it through without anyone close to support. I am unlikely to abandon family members because they can't handle hearing about someone else's trauma. From my first appointment for a Gleason test it has been seven years and no human has been there. And,
, it is good to find this website for virtual support and feedback. Emotional support is critical but complicated. There is a natural desire to be in some denial as our journey continues. We hope for a better response to treatment; to a longer timeline as our PSAs wax and wane. We don't want to be Debbie Downers and bother others with our anxieties; but often we need to be totally open with "someone" and with ourselves. I have the advantage of facilitating a support group. In that group we have every stage of prostate cancer from watchful waiting to advanced disease on multiple therapies. That group is great but we still are left with the battle over how much to share and how much to hold in! I would love to see more engagement here and more sharing of those feelings, hopes and fears that are so hard to share daily with our partners and friends. I'm looking forward to more and more engagement here!!
