A man with a large scar takes a selfie in a mirror and opens his chest to show a bouquet of flowers

Dating After Prostate Cancer

Last updated: October 2022

In this article, I want to discuss dating and prostate cancer. There are many men who are not in long-term relationships who want to be with someone. They have made the conscious choice not to let prostate cancer stand in their way. At the same time, these men may be a bit hesitant and unsure of when or even if they should bring up the topic of prostate cancer.

So, in this quick article, I would like to discuss returning to the dating scene and if or when you should broach the topic of prostate cancer with new partners. Fair warning, I may decide to turn this topic into a series of 3 or 4 articles. Let's go.

Prostate cancer's invisible scars

One of the most important issues you may be dealing with is invisible scars. The invisible scars are different from the physical, visible scars you are carrying underneath your clothes. You may have just been told your prostate cancer is undetectable with surgical scars in your genital region.

The invisible scars are more related to your self-esteem. You may wonder, Who would want to be with a person who went through prostate cancer? What happens if I get into a relationship and the cancer returns? How is my partner going to react if/when it is time for physical intimacy and I cannot respond as I did before cancer? All valid questions.

What can I do to put myself back out there?

Try

The easy answer for this is you will never know unless you try. When you are feeling ready to get back out there, get back into the dating pool. There are plenty of places on the internet where you can put your profile out there and see how it goes. But there can be plenty of creeps on these dating sites, so be safe and take it slow.

Take it slow

Yes, I have to say it again: Take it slow. Please do not rush into any relationships. While it may feel nice to get attention in that way, take your time and get to know the person.

Speaking personally, I can remember when I got a few likes on a dating site I used. My brain went into overdrive, and I was like, Wow, this actually feels great. It feels great to be wanted. But please remember to take it slow.

Heal

Additionally, please let your body heal. Remember, being in a relationship is a lot of work. There are things you have to do, and everything takes energy. If your body is not ready to be in a relationship, it will let you know. Please listen to it and, once again, take it slow.

Talk about it

Finally, when you feel the time is right to start a relationship with someone, be upfront with them. According to the American Cancer Society, "Silence is not the best plan. Before you and your partner decide to make a strong commitment, you should talk about the cancer."1

What about dating do you want to know?

In the near future, I am going to expand this topic a bit and look at some of the other issues that go along with dating and prostate cancer. Thank you.

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