Unknown Cost of Cancer

By Duane Estep

3 min read

The moment an individual is told they have been diagnosed with prostate cancer, they begin to pay a heavy cost not only financially but emotionally.

Cancer can cost a person their career, their friends, and their family. I have personally witnessed cancer warriors losing their spouses during the never-ending battle with this disease. Some folks are not willing to suffer through this ordeal with the cancer patient.

Depression after losing my career

I count myself as one of the fortunate ones. My family and friends could not have done a finer job stepping up to the challenges. As I look back, the real cost I paid was the loss of my career. Being a 30-plus-year veteran of teaching and coaching, it was very distressing to lose my job and be forced into disability retirement by advanced prostate cancer with extensive bone metastasis stage 4.

Losing one’s career can cause, and did cause with me, deep and disheartening depression. At times I would break completely down and cry. It is extremely difficult to go from working every day to barely being able to walk around or mentally function. Chemotherapy had been a tough battle for me and my family. Do not ever let anyone tell you that “chemo brain” or “chemo fog” is not a real phenomenon.

Brain fog

Chemo brain, bone pain, and extreme fatigue cost me dearly on a daily basis. It was near impossible to continue to teach or coach while suffering daily pain, muscle fatigue, and diminished brain function. I was a physical educator and coached numerous sports. At one point, I received some directives from my school principal, and by the time I returned to the gym I could not remember one word of those directives.

The loss of complete brain function was clearly going to be a risk for all my students. Feeling tired and my loss of concentration due to the constant bone pain was clearly affecting my job performance. I was able to perform for short durations in the range of 2 to 2 1/2 hours, but in no way could my body and brain hold up to full work days. My work days consisted of far more than the typical 7 1/2 hours of most occupations. I would spend many hours beyond that timeframe coaching.

No time to prepare

The effect of losing my career was two-fold in nature. One, I lost a significant amount of income going from full-time employment to disability retirement. My family went from a monthly income of around five grand to an income of below half that amount with no time to prepare. This was a traumatic circumstance for our family’s wellbeing. I have to be truly honest: this was a real struggle for our family and continues to be to this very day.

Second, I began to suffer immensely from depression. Not a slight depression, but a deep, dark lingering depression that bordered on dangerous. I was conditioned to be around hundreds of people a day and engage in numerous conversations daily.

Upon my cancer diagnosis and having to abruptly retire, I was forced into spending endless hours at home with only my immediate family present. My body and mind were in a dire condition with no sign of relief.

The power of the human spirit

I believe wholeheartedly the only things that saved me were my belief in the Lord Jesus Christ, my family, and my many friends throughout the community. The Lord blessed me daily by answering my numerous and never-ending prayers. My family wrapped me in their endless love and companionship. And our community rallied to my cause with continuous cards, letters, visits, and prayers. Some even organized fundraising events to aid my family financially.

In the end, I have to witness to the power of the human spirit. Not only my inner spirit, but the spirit of our surrounding community. They saw our family paying a high cost and moved quickly to support our family and myself both mentally and physically.

I often have heard people lament that people are not caring these days, like they used to be in the olden days. However, I am here to bear witness, people are kind and generous just as much now-a-days as they used to be in the so-called good ‘ol days.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The ProstateCancer.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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Richard Faust Community Admin
Hi Duane. Like you, I do believe people are still kind and generous, but also don't sell yourself short - many of these people are stepping up for you because of the way you have impacted others and your community. Sometimes it does come back around to those who have earned it. Best, Richard (ProstateCancer.net Team)
Bobby Bofinger Moderator & Contributor
Hi Duane -- the emotional issues that inevitably occur after being diagnosed with cancer, treating it, and then dealing with ongoing treatment side effects and possible recurrence really can't be overemphasized. My father had surgery to treat his prostate cancer and he endured negative side effects from that surgery for the rest of his life. Though he was already retired at the time of diagnosis and there was no career impact, he still experienced recurring bouts of depression in the ensuing years. Thank you for your openness and honesty on this topic. In a perfect world, these topics would be discussed in much greater depth prior to treatment selection. They were not really discussed much, nor did I spend much time on them when I was exploring treatment options.
Richard Faust Community Admin
Hi <inline-mention username="Duane Estep" user-id="3259777"/>. This article was reposted on the Facebook page so I just had a chance to revisit it. The chemo brain is undoubtedly real and potentially pretty devastating. In the last year there has been quite a bit of research on chemo brain and the similarities with the brain fog that can occur with COVID, particularly long COVID (see here for an example: <a href='https://www.the-scientist.com/news-opinion/brain-fog-caused-by-long-covid-and-chemo-appear-similar-69659' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>https://www.the-scientist.com/news-opinion/brain-fog-caused-by-long-covid-and-chemo-appear-similar-69659</a>). If there is anything good that may come out of the mess that has been COVID it may be potential breakthroughs into dealing with brain fog, such as the pathways inflammatory cytokines may take to break the brain-blood barrier. Some treatments for brain fog would be a blessing to many. Best, Richard (ProstateCancer.net Team)
Njguy Member
The brain fog also occurs with Androgen Deprivation Therapy (ADT). I would think of something and then have to ask Alexa to remind me of it in five minutes because the thought would be gone by the time I had walked from the kitchen to my office. I forgot the names of people I had worked with for years. I forgot common words for everyday items. This was beyond frustrating. I finally went to a psychiatrist who prescribed ADD meds and these have helped considerably. Though I'm still diminished, I'm far more functional. The only downside is that I barely sleep (3-4 hours a night) but I can live with that.