What's Up Doc? Hearing What I'm Saying but Not Really Listening

By Dennis E. Golden

1 min read

In this video Dennis chats about finding himself facing an unexpected bladder test. He also discovers that even the best of physicians can be guilty of hearing what you are saying but not really listening.

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Jim Early Moderator & Contributor
Dennis Golden makes some very important points in his excellent video. As a physician who practiced for over 45 years I can assure you that it is impossible to know all the symptoms, complications and treatments involved with any patient problem; even if you are a specialist in that patient's issue. First, I always tried to give the patient time to tell me exactly what he/she felt and truly listen. With the internet it also became important to find out how much information or misinformation the patient brought with them to the appointment. Good physicians know they are not the boss; they are a team member with the patient, both focused on the best health outcome possible. Jim Early -- Moderator
1. Dennis E. Golden Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="Jim Early" user-id="4566171"/> Hi Jim and welcome
Sue Franke Moderator & Contributor
Thanks for sharing your experience, Dennis. I’m afraid it’s all too common that doctors may not hear what’s really going on or may not have the latest and greatest information. In their defense, much of the medical community is overwhelmed these days. But talking about defense, the patient’s best defense is to be knowledgeable and do the research so he can come to the visit with expectations and information just as you did. 
1. Dennis E. Golden Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="Sue Franke" user-id="4506969"/> One suggestion I offer to students or patients is repeat out loud what you thought you heard. " So if I am understanding what you said I am suppose to ......etc etc " .... and ending on "is that what you meant Dr?"
Richard Faust Community Admin
Hi <inline-mention username="Dennis Golden" user-id="3259730"/>. Some great information. I can't tell you how many times I have come across this, most often in reference to issues surrounding my wife's autoimmune condition. As you and <inline-mention username="Jim Early" user-id="4566171"/> noted, it would just be impossible for a doctor to be up on the latest in everything (in the case of rheumatology, it is not a required med school rotation, so non-specialists are not likely to have a great deal of background). What's important is for the doctor to be willing to listen to the information a patient has and how it may apply to their case. As Jim also noted, listening carefully also can clue the doctor into the patient heading down a rabbit hole in the wrong direction. I know, as a researcher, I can't know everything and have often told doctors in regards to some issues that I know just enough to be dangerous. Best, Richard (ProstateCancer.net Team)
kenneth1955 Member
Hey Dennis I watched your video and what you are saying is true. I try to know what ever I can before I go from test to find out what they are for. And if I feel I don't need it I say no. That is not my problem now. That was before like you had. I go Friday to my Urologist so we will see what he want to do???? Always nice to hear what you have been through. More guy's can learn from you
Gruppster Member
Dennis , loved the video and brought to mind that I have an important meeting with my primary doctor tomorrow. In 2015 my PSA was 3.5. For 6 years I would ask why are you not doing a digital exam or a PSA? He would say the PSA test wasn’t reliable as an indicator of Prostate cancer. In addition , I was on Medicare and that might have limited the scope of my annual physical. Last November, after months of frequent nightly urinating, I insisted that a PSA test be done. He still resisted by saying that at 73 years old I would probably die of something else. I forced the issue. My PSA came back at 9.9 and he referred me to a Urologist. After an MRI and a biopsy, it was confirmed that I had prostate cancer with a Gleason score of 4+3. In addition, my cancer was cribriform ( an aggressive form of cancer.) I had my prostate removed robotically 2 weeks ago and I’m feeling great. The moral of my story is just because a Doctor goes to school and training for years doesn’t make He/She an expert in all things Medical in nature. Knowledge is Power. I was prepared to challenge my Doctor’s advise and ended up advocating for myself. All too often, Doctor’s put us in statistical categories and don’t treat us as unique individuals. Tomorrow will be interesting, as my Doctor is unaware of my Prostate surgery nor the outcome. I should have learned much earlier that I should have stepped up as my own patient advocate. 
1. Richard Faust Community Admin
 Hi <inline-mention username="Gruppster" user-id="4593622"/>. Thank you so much for sharing your story. This could serve as a master class in self-advocacy and realizing that no doctor is a specialist in everything, particularly a GP. I want to share with you and everyone else out there this article from our contributor Len on why he uses specialists: <a href='https://prostatecancer.net/living/healthcare-specialist' target='_blank'>https://prostatecancer.net/living/healthcare-specialist</a>. Also, I'd like to add that I'm a stats person and very few things get under my skin more than when medical people use them so badly. More specifically, they are often used to justify lack of treatment or pushing for advancements. Life expectancies only increase when patients are treated and treatments advance - to use them to justify lack of treatment is circular logic (note: it was particularly egregious in your case since you had yet to have a biopsy). Wishing you the best in your recovery and please feel free to keep us posted on how you are doing. Richard (ProstateCancer.net Team)
Gruppster Member
Richard, my paths report came back. Every sample taken during surgery was non malignant. Great News!!
1. Richard Faust Community Admin
 Hi <inline-mention username="Gruppster" user-id="4593622"/>. That is exceptional news! Best, Richard (ProstateCancer.net Team)
Diane Talbert Moderator & Contributor
<inline-mention username="Dennis Golden" user-id="3259730"/> You are right on point with this. I went to all my father's doctor appointments with him. Most didn't even notice I was in the room. If he said something and I could tell the doctor was confused. I would ask him to repeat it to the doctor again. If the doctor said something that was confusing; I would ask him to explain it. Thanks for sharing a great article. Diane (Team Member)