Faith and Prostate Cancer

By Tony Collier

2 min read

It’s still so vivid in my memory: 9:45 a.m. on Friday, May 5th, 2017. I was driving to a dental appointment and my mobile phone rang (hands free!). When I answered, I heard my younger brother, who sounded upset. He told me that he was with our younger sister, and they’d just been told that she only had 12 months to live.

The grueling experience of cancer

She survived another 18 months and a bout of grueling chemotherapy that made her quality of life so much worse. It was heart-wrenching watching her decline and struggle. She eventually passed away in November 2018, killing the breast cancer that had caused her to have such a hard last 18 months.

Move forward to 8 p.m. on Tuesday, May 9th, 2017. I get a telephone call from my sports injuries doctor breaking the most awful news: he was 99% certain that my runner's “groin strain” was in fact prostate cancer. Ten days of further tests, and the news was even worse. The cancer was confirmed, it was incurable, and I may only live 2 years.

Needless to say, this was a pretty dreadful few days for the Collier family!

Faith has been challenging for me

Now I was never the most religious person in the world, but I was occasionally a churchgoer at Christmas and other special celebrations. However, what little faith I had was extinguished by the worst period ever in the Collier family’s existence. I couldn’t face the fact that any God would give my family such a hard time.

My sister passed away at just 54 years old. She never got the chance to see her grandchildren grow up. In fact, she never met one of her grandchildren! Her daughter-in-law was expecting a child when my sister was admitted to a hospice for end-of-life care. Her son and daughter-in-law paid to have a private scan done, and they took the picture of the baby to show her. She passed away later that evening, and I’m convinced that she waited to see the baby and left us with a smile on her face.

Faith has been very challenging for me as a result. However, my wife is a regular church goer and has a very strong faith. She has explained to me that, despite everything that’s happened, her faith sustains and comforts her. And when I ultimately lose my battle against prostate cancer, she will have her faith to get her through and to live a good life without me.

But it can be helpful

At Easter I decided to attend a church service with her, which isn’t something I would normally do. I asked myself why I’d decided to do that. Was I asking God for a favor? If I was, who am I to expect a savior when I talk to God so infrequently?

Ultimately, however, I was overthinking the situation. The reality is that I went along with her to support her and because it was important to her. Faith is a very personal thing, and I’m so happy that my wife has somewhere she can turn when times are hard. However, I really hope that I wasn’t talking to God just because I needed a favor!

I’d be interested to hear from our readers just how their faith has sustained and comforted them when dealing with the adversity of a dire health diagnosis.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The ProstateCancer.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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CommunityMember728334 Member
I am absolutely convinced of the value of any community’s support in time of need. A church community is by far the most readily available and welcoming to any newcomer (apart from maybe a golf club) My wife has said that se wished churches accepted non-praying members just like golf-clubs had non-playing members. There can be nothing worse than suffering a long lingering death on your own, with no distractions beyond an equally suffering family. I had been treated for prostate cancer for about three years before it became absolutely clear that there was going to be no cure. There was only a 15% chance to begin with so I had pretty much prepared for the news, and the grieving, depression, etc., was already well passed by then. I had also ‘lost my faith’ as we ‘lapsed’ Catholics call it many years, in fact many decades before (as if it’s like a subscription to a magazine). However, the one thing that I did miss was the ready-made church community that accepted me and my family into its bosom as we moved with my work around the world (20 house moves in 30 years). In fact, I continued 
1. CommunityMember5adede Member
 Prayers are priceless in time of crisis. Many people prayed for me in my time of need...I'm convinced it helped. I'm so grateful to many people.
Beverly Baldwin Moderator & Contributor
I am glad that you shared such a vulnerable part of your life because in all honesty I think we have all thought at some point that we were bargaining or even asking God for a favor. I pray that you are blessed with many more years and your cancer diagnosis is in remission. I do believe that my faith aided me when I was caring for my dad when he had prostate cancer, I would be lying is I said my faith didn't waver at times. I would wonder why this happened to my family and my dad. Then, as I continued to heal after his passing, I learned the reason why my family and I were specifically designed to go through what we had to go through. I learned that my church family support never wavered so when I had doubts, they were there for me. Many blessings to you and your family! Beverly (Prostatecancer.net Team)
Sue Franke Moderator & Contributor
I hope the doctors are wrong and you continue to live a good life for many years to come. I think most of us question religion and God at one time or another. I've been a practicing believer for many years but experiences that keep me questioning my faith and God's mercy are all the school shootings that occur. I simply don't understand how a loving God could let those things happen to children. I asked our pastor, and he said he didn't know - only God does. We often question why we don't see God's hand but one of the amazing things he has done for us is give us a community of believers through church who when you're ill or have a need, are there for you. They'll pray for you like crazy, bring you meals, visit your bedside, run your errands, and on and on. I think church family is the on-earth hand of God. It sounds like your wife has that in her life. Maybe that could help and comfort you at some point too? Best wishes to you and your family.
CommunityMember621fe7 Member
Just got diagnosed with prostate cancer. Going to just have it removed. At my age 76, just can’t see doing radiation for 5 weeks. PSA at 4.7 from a high of 13, two years ago. It took 5 biopsies over 13 years to find it.
CommunityMember5adede Member
I just yesterday had lunch my friend, who is heavy into her faith. I recently made contact with all who helped me with their on going prayers. I asked them for their spiritual help, and I received this help. This help came to me in real fashion, real results. To all, faith is important and not to taken lightly. Also remember to thank those who share their gift of faith with you.

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