What’s Going to Happen?

By Dennis E. Golden

2 min read

It's not easy to talk about the uncomfortable things that make you feel very vulnerable, but I offer that it is both necessary and wise to do. Fear can be and is often a very common emotional reaction prior to, during, and after prostate cancer is detected and then treated.

Things like fear of death or possible side effects from surgery or radiation therapy or hormone therapies all can play havoc with your mind, emotions, and mental balance. At some point you may start to question, "What will happen if I get sick again in some later stage after treatment?"

A wide range of emotions

Having an honest conversation with your urologist can help put these worries at ease by letting them know your concerns. At that point they can tailor their advice as it impacts your individual case and possible outcomes. I also believe that getting in touch with someone who has walked the path before you can be a significant source of comfort and help put your mind at ease. This is not the time to self-isolate.

Being diagnosed with prostate cancer can be a devastating experience, and it does not necessarily matter whether your type of cancer is aggressive or slow-growing. No matter how you slice it, facing a potentially life-threatening disease is never easy to take in. The range of emotions that any of us can feel on any given day may vary from sadness, anxiety, fear, and more.

And no matter how you look at it, from this point on you may always be faced with some combination of these elements lurking in the back of your mind. From the moment you get that call to finally making your decision on what to do next. I got my “no so good news” cell phone call while sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic while parked on the East River Drive in New York City. I was almost 3 hours away from home at the time, and for the entire drive home I kept asking myself, "Why did I answer that call?"

Fearing what will happen next

From the moment you are diagnosed with prostate cancer, there is an unpredictable element that goes along with every thought and decision you will make. Which MD is the best for me? What treatment options are best for me? Do I treat this now or wait for a while?

At this point you can spend a significant time wondering about side effects or wondering if a recurrence or any number of other “what if" possibilities may occur, including questions surrounding sexual performance and other quality-of life issues. In the end no matter how much you suffer through these questions, in the end no one really knows what will happen next!

Turning to others for help

It is true that being positive may improve quality of life when you're living with cancer, but perhaps it doesn't work out that way for everyone. Maybe expressing negative emotions can help for some. One thing to consider, though: if feeling down makes sense in light of what's happening, then maybe talking through things isn’t such a bad idea. Sometimes you may need to reach out to someone who understands where you are in your journey right now.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The ProstateCancer.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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Sue Franke Moderator & Contributor
Thanks <inline-mention username="Dennis Golden" user-id="3259730"/> for your thoughts about emotions and thinking about the future when the word "cancer" is spoken to you or someone in your family. Much of what you said is true of not only prostate cancer patients, but patients of any type of cancer. In addition to my husband, my daughter asked many of the same questions when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. "Who is the best doctor to treat this disease?" What are my options for treatment?" "What does my future look like?" I know my husband asked the same questions when diagnosed with prostate cancer and later with bladder cancer, and I ask my self the same questions now that I've been diagnosed with breast cancer. So many questions and so many things to think about. A great starting point. Thanks for sharing.
edjkoz Member
Thanks for the article and while I agree that talking about these issues is important; however, I have found that many times when talking to someone who has gone through some of the treatments, I hear nothing but negativity. If I’m scared of hormone therapy, or radiation therapy, I don’t need to hear how awful your life has been since you did that and how you would chose not to do that again. This is not an isolated case. I find it better to speak with someone who just listens as I work through my emotions. 
1. Dennis E. Golden Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="edjkoz" user-id="3260579"/> We are all different and it is always best to do what feels comfortable and right for you and your personal situation . There are no right or wrong ways to handle a cancer diagnosis. It happens and we as patients are left to react. We can choose silence or we can speak up - both are OK. I know guys who can not wait to get cancer treated while others take years to decide or choose not treat at all. What ever you decide just know it was the best decision for you. We all have one thing in common - we are working our way through this a day at a time. Dennis(ProstateCancer.net TEAM
2. Richard Faust Community Admin
 Hi <inline-mention username="edjkoz" user-id="3260579"/>. I think I get what you are saying. I know that I even see it here. Sometimes people come to a site when they are at their worst and need a place to vent, seek support, find others who understand and it is great that we can be there for them. However, for the new person looking for information it can be overwhelming. It is a balance of being understanding and informative. I know I try to provide evidence based research to accompany the experience others can offer so men can work with their medical teams to make informed decisions. Best, Richard (ProstateCancer.net Team)
Beverly Baldwin Moderator & Contributor
Thank you for sharing your insight! I believe the emotional roller coaster happens to us all, even as a caregiver. I was in denial for a long period of time after my dad got his prostate cancer diagnosis. I was in denial even after he passed away from the disease. I kept thinking he wasn't as sick as I thought. I kept thinking he was going to get better sooner than later. I think that people have to indulge a little in their emotions. We have to understand those feelings and channel them in a healthy way. That is definitely easier said than done. I was able to cope better and accept after I start going to therapy and counseling. Thanks again for sharing the perspective of what so many others are probably experiencing. Beverly Baldwin (Prostatecancer.net Team)

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