The Reality That Is Prostate Cancer

If you are visiting this site, it is a safe guess that you or someone close has a concern about prostate cancer. Having dealt with an aggressive Gleason 9 cancer score on 3 different occasions over the past 11 years, I wanted to pass along a few tips that have helped me deal with the many emotional ups and downs on my journey.

Dealing with shock

When newly diagnosed in 2012, I was an emotional mess and convinced I was the proverbial dead man walking. Any cancer diagnosis knocks you off balance on so many levels. It comes out of nowhere, and initially you can be in a state of shock and denial while asking the question "why me?"

I found that the simple act and reality of naming my diagnosis "prostate cancer" allowed me to begin processing the mountains of emotions that would come into full view in the days and months ahead.

Finding support

Many men I have counseled over the past decade often choose to keep their prostate cancer diagnosis a secret from friends and even family. There is something buried deep in the male ego that suggests to some men that a cancer diagnosis makes them appear weak in the eyes of others.

One man never told his wife he had prostate cancer until it reached a point where he was so weak he finally had to admit there was an issue. Even then, he insisted there was nothing to be concerned about as he passed large amounts of bloody urine. He died weeks later.

Early on, I leaned into my network and offered full disclosure to family, friends, and business acquaintances. I believe that when we as men have a support system, we can better cope, grow emotionally, and find more peace of mind.

Emotional self-care

The many challenges I faced over the past years awakened me to the need for emotional self-care. There were times after my wife of 57 years passed when I would just pull over to the side of the bike trail and have a private moment and shed a tear. Then I would draw in a deep breath as I took the time to take in the beauty and peace of nature that surrounded me during that moment.

Meditation and mindfulness found their way into my daily routines. Even when my immediate social circle did not understand the grief and/or anticipation I was experiencing with my multiple cancer diagnoses, I discovered taking some quiet time every day rewarded me with huge dividends.

Alternative methods of care

Today I think things like meditation and mindfulness are more widely accepted and available in settings like hospitals, yoga centers, and more. At one point in the middle of my 40 radiation treatments, I took advantage of a hospital-supplied Reiki healing sequence. Reiki is a Japanese technique that is purported to relieve stress and promote healing.

Those 5 sessions prompted me to investigate online resources to learn more about meditation and mindfulness. As with anything new, I am sure more research will be needed to verify the benefits of such aids.

All I can say is the more I nurture the emotional side of my life, the better prepared I am to crowd the many negative thoughts that desperately try to take up residence in my head.