Prostate Cancer: How I Found Freedom Despite the Enemy Within

Being diagnosed with prostate cancer can be devastating. It’s crucial to find ways to cope and live with the diagnosis, especially knowing it may continue to spread. Even if treatment is successful, there’s a possibility of recurrence.

After all, how can one be confident that the cancer is no longer spreading, has died, or has gone completely? That’s not an easy question to answer, but it’s worth discussing, and I can only speak from my personal experience.

I've had many scares of cancer returning

It’s been several years since my diagnosis and surgery, and I’ve had many scares of cancer returning. These concerning moments included a rising PSA, new aches and pains, and new lumps found on my breast and thigh.

The fact is, for the first several years, I obsessed over my diagnosis day and night. My time was occupied researching, attending support groups, perusing countless websites, and reading every book and article I could find. It’s all I could think about, and it essentially took over my life.

When the scare came to be

And now, despite all my obsession and time invested, my rising PSA has reached the recurrence level of 0.2 ng/mL, as of my writing this.

When the doctor gave me the news, a light bulb burned brightly in my head. It was flashing the message that life was passing me by while I obsessed over something I couldn’t control. I sat there frozen, not because of the recurrence, but over the realization that I should have spent more time with family and friends and less time on research.

Shifting my focus to what I can control

The doctor explained that this was the first reading that reached the level of recurrence, and he would like a few more readings before recommending secondary treatment. However, I should prepare myself for secondary treatment if the PSA levels continue to be 0.2 ng/mL or higher.

With this newfound light, I’m going to ensure I spend time with family and friends instead of being totally consumed with researching secondary treatments.

It took a PSA recurrence level to make me realize that life was more important. At that moment, I felt a sense of peace and comfort as I shifted my focus to the things I could control. This includes my weight, eating habits, exercise routine, and building wonderful memories with family and friends. Not to mention keeping up with regular visits and follow-ups with my doctors.

And of course, I am doing everything possible within my control to deal with the cancer while at the same time living my best life. Or, in other words, living a balanced life.

A powerful sense of freedom

Letting go of the fear that cancer may end my life has provided me with a powerful sense of freedom. It’s an incredible relief and a major weight off my shoulders. Above all, the mindset shift has given me the gift of being able to enjoy every moment of life despite the cancer. After all, I could die from a million other reasons, all outside my control.

It took me many years to realize that I was missing out on life. I’m now finally free of the worry and stress of what I can’t control. What a blessing it is to be fully focused on life while still being alive.