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Two hands with wedding rings clasped together inside a heart silhouette, surrounded by dark clouds.

My Wife is a Crucial Part of My Life

The year 2023 marked my eleventh year of living with advanced metastatic prostate cancer. The prognosis given to me was a short lifespan, so I am indeed a survivor amongst survivors.

Talking about prostate cancer is emotionally challenging for most men. However, doing so may help the lives of those you love and the lives of many you have yet to meet. One person whom I had not given proper credit for my wellness and life was my wife (Grace), my significant other.

Accepting my wife's help

In the aftermath of my diagnosis, Grace, an active part of my life before, now had to deal with the emotional changes that came with my diagnosis. My home care was now provided almost exclusively by her. Accepting help from her was extremely engrossing as I still tried to do things for myself, for I had always been the rock in the family.

As time progressed, though, I was mindful that she could end up with health problems of her own. This would make it physically and emotionally more difficult for her to take care of me properly. Grace paid attention to every aspect of my physical and mental well-being, often surveying me to make sure I was still physically whole.

Cancer would not divide us

Ensuring I kept up the fight was paramount, as she knew a broken man would mean a broken family. This was not happening while she breathed. We found each other in our later years of life and helped to build each other up, and over the years, we became one in the body. Divorce or separation was not in our vocabulary. It was not our way, though some would wish to break down that which was inseparable and see us fall apart. However, our very union was dependent on our ability to see past these façades. There could never be a parting, as we would let no one or nothing divide us, not even cancer.

Often I have thought we had missed our vocation as marriage guidance counselors. We have never needed psychologists to sit down with us and work things out. That is not to say ours was a perfect marriage, because it was not. However, what it comprised of was honesty, openness, trust, friendship, and love.

She brightened my darkest days

There was nothing more evident than when I was hospitalized and yearned for her visits as I lay very ill, along with many other patients who were even sicker than I. Each day I felt myself slipping into their lonely world and abyss of death. Then my angel (my wife) would turn up to save me and brighten my daytime, so it continued until the discharge date.

My wife has always said that all she wanted to do was be there for me. The bottom line was that my wife was an amazing, phenomenal woman. In retrospect, I tip my hat to all of you who are caregivers or support partners. God bless each of you who have set your life apart to take care of the many of us who cannot care for ourselves.

Eternally grateful to her

In the first year of my diagnosis, I recall going from being a very active male with an active partner to almost an invalid, pigeon-stepping man unable to walk short distances and crippled with pain. My wife nursed me back from the depths; of death to an almost healthy man. And for that, I will always be eternally grateful.

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