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Prostate Cancer and Your Mental Health

The thing with men is that we are supposed to be tough and not show our emotions as that could show weakness. No, we’re told and molded early on to “man up” and crying is for sissies. But then later in life when things go wrong we feel unable to show our emotions, you couldn’t possibly talk to your mates either as they would think your weak and certainly wouldn’t want to hear you offload all your woes!

So what happens when we get problems as we grow up? The pressures of modern life, trying to compete with everyone all start to build up.

Ignoring signs from our body

Now throw in the mix your not feeling quite right, maybe you start to notice some things that shouldn’t be happening but you still feel okay in yourself?

You don’t speak to your partner as you don’t want to worry them and there is never enough time to either arrange let alone attend a doctors appointment. Besides, it will probably go away in time and you don’t want to waste anyone’s time. This then becomes the norm, the more you ignore it the bigger the denial becomes and you start to convince yourself it’s nothing.

Sound familiar? But all this denial and hiding the facts doesn’t solve the problem and likely makes it worse as you may start to get more stressed about it and try even harder to cover up and hide the issues.

Add in prostate cancer

Let’s now throw in the pot the big C! What if it is this big nasty word we all fear and will do anything to avoid? We likely know of family or friends who have had it but if it is, it’s not going to get any better by ignoring it and it could even get worse or spread to other areas!

Going to see your doc is only the first step and will likely be the start of more appointments, investigations and hopefully, finally a diagnosis. This is one of the hardest parts and can really get you down, all the waiting for appointments and then waiting for the results. At this point, your mental well-being is already getting a bashing, possibly sleepless nights and the mind going round in circles with all the what ifs. For me, the final diagnosis was actually a relief! Now I actually knew what I was dealing with!

Keeping the demons at bay

So how did I keep the demons at bay and come out of this on the right side? I made a conscious decision early on that none of this would get me down. The main thing for me was I was alive. Every day was wonderful as I was there to appreciate it. I could see how the losses could get people down but I was not going to let it. I stayed positive, never gave up hope and started to live every day to the max and started to make sure I did the things I want to do or started planning the bigger things so they happened!

For me now, life is for living, I have done things and met people I would never have done before cancer! So to me, my cancer has been turned from a negative into a positive.

Read Part II of Prostate Cancer and Your Mental Health.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The ProstateCancer.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

  • sevensix
    3 weeks ago

    While attending a annual meeting of Paralyzed Veterans of America I mentioned to the Executive Director I have prostate cancer. I wasn’t expecting this answer: he told me this tidbit about life among disabled veterans. Taking me aside he began to tell me there are many veterans facing diseases, injuries, and other infirmities that occur in our plodding journey through life. He said look around, see what you see, a group of vets and their caregivers in various stages of life struggling a common foe. A campaign for hope despite the obstacles keeps us going forward, even bed ridden we are formidable. In a wheel chair look out, we can’t be stopped. (You get my drift.) I learned a lesson in life, join the crowd.

  • ninaw moderator
    2 weeks ago

    @sevensix, he sounds like an extremely determined fellow. While there’s something unique about each person and each condition’s toll, it can be good to look around and realize you’re part of a much larger world. Key that you mention caregivers too. It’s a big crowd indeed. – Nina, ProstateCancer.net Team

  • kenneth1955
    3 weeks ago

    I’m sorry I have read both parts of Prostate Cancer and your Mental Health. I’m a lot different then a lot of men. Why do we have to make a choice between cancer or our sex life. To me this makes no since. When a women get breast cancer she is depress and they feel sorry for her. They tell he don’t worry we can give you new ones and all will be wonderful. When a man get s prostate cancer the first thing they tell him is you need it removed and don’t let it bother you. All will be the same. How can they lie like that. They know then that 50% of men that have there prostate removed will never have sex again. Some doctor even tell them to get a new hobby. Give me a break. I for one if I get prostate cancer will not be forced to have my prostate out. I will only have a treatment that can get rid of the tumor and that has no side effects. Nothing else will be removed. I will not let cancer take away my sex life or my ejaculation. Even if I am not having any more kids. I for one will not trade one for the other. It is my life and I will live it the way I want…Ken

  • ChrisPedlar moderator author
    2 weeks ago

    Sometimes the choice is between life or death and the knock on effects are somewhat masked by the main drive to extend life. Unfortunately many of the treatments currently available all have side affects. The key for me is to raise awareness so men get diagnosed early which both increases your chance of survival, gives more options for treatment and reduces the risk of the effects of treatment. We are all different and will choose accordingly but I know of men who have struggled to decide which option is best for them. Until you get faced with the choices I gues many of us will never know what we would do? Let’s hope you never need to go there Ken 🙂 Chris Pedlar ProstateCancer.net moderator

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