Cancer Seven letters of grief

Last updated: September 2022

Diagnosis experience

First told in a gruff bedside manner “if you don’t do something you will die in three months !” The fear was instilled in a 70 yr old man who the doctor did not know from dog Pooh! He did not know I was PTSD from 5 years old and no one cared! Every month I was pushed through a Gauntlet of blood work from people who would not tell me what was being tested for they were trainees. The feeling was they all could not care about the living sample of flesh shoved in front of them! Sad no true personal empathy for a patient in the throws of GRIEF!!!

feeling dismissed

They had no time to f’n CARE! Not their job! No high pulse high all signs of a rush job yet they did not care!!!!!!! What a horrible experience!! Barely any true compassion almost military style so a break for smoke was a possible reward. This is a horror story besides the horror of the WORD “CANCER that meant DEATH! pure Hell was my Grieving process! Too many questions were never answered on the portal for four months.

Dissattisfied with medical staff

Yet every month you received a form of symptoms that were not present! I was asymptomatic yet knew not how to express that! A nurse felt I was asking them to not wear WHITE LAB COAts miss understood my meaning demeaning my white lab coat syndrome example. She was a PA so should have known the implication I was referring to
Her lack of respect for a 70-year-old Guinea pig was apparently all she could see! I was angry part of grief! I was grieving for the loss I was feeling! This fell on deaf ears!!! I could write many volumes of my encounters with medical “professionals” but that would go back to 1953 during my traumatic experience at age 5 that started a journey different than Alice in wonderland!

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