My Continuing Story-radical prostatectomy, ED & very attractive wife.
Any advice or guidance from those who have or are dealing with anything similar will be much appreciated. As you will see I am very candid in my communication, so please feel free to be the same.
Who I am
I am a fit, active 71-year-old. I was diagnosed with PC in 2012. Early tests indicated it was non-aggressive. Under the care of a highly regarded urologist, we embarked on "watchful waiting" until a saturation biopsy revealed it was turning aggressive and pushing towards the margin in a couple of areas. The urologist recommended surgery over radiation. His highly skilled hands (no robotics) performed a radical prostatectomy in 2014. Recovery was quick and relatively painless. I have excellent urinary and bowel control and even made several Trans-Pacific business trips with no issues after the surgery. PSA has been undetectable since surgery. So I am grateful for all of this.
Mental and sexual health
My anxiety, sometimes severe, stems from ED. I have strong strong libido and desire and can achieve manual orgasm, sometimes quite powerful. However after four years of dismal results with oral medications, mechanical suction, and injections I started investigating surgical options. Then the pandemic struck and non-essential medical procedures were stopped in our metro area. My highly regarded urologist retired. Follow-up was limited to routine PSA tests.
My 67-year-old wife of 43 years is absolutely gorgeous. Her libido was somewhat diminished by a little extra weight and some meds so we mutually endured my ED after the surgery. However, for health reasons we engaged her as a personal trainer just before the pandemics. This year she started Noom. The result is a trim, tall, sexy blonde that looks at least 20 years younger. Her libido is returning along with other health benefits. Another thing for which to be grateful.
Wife attracting other men
It's no surprise she is attracting the attention of men, many much younger. It's flattering, an ego boost for both of us, and the type of thing I laughed off when I was young, cancer-free, and virile. However, one younger guy at the gym has taken a persistent interest. There could be no greater contrast between him and myself. He is single, with no attachments, and has little apparent to lose in way of family or assets. I have devoted myself to seeing the needs and a few wants of my wife and family were taken care of for more than the 43 years we have been married. He is a bulky, very muscular 275 lb. or so powerlifter. I am a skinny, 6'1" 170lb. runner. I could go on but I am sure readers get the picture.
Anxieties about the future
My wife professes her love for me verbally and in action and I do the same daily. However, she is a vibrant, passionate, and a very human person. She is adamant nothing has happened or will happen but my primal instincts say the hunt is on and I am in the game completely unarmed with respect to physical and sexual self-confidence. Lingering in the back (sometimes front) of my mind is "it's just a matter of time". I have resumed penile implant investigation with my urologist's replacement. However, it will be months before we see results assuming it is a viable option for me. For now, I am trying to keep busy with the rest of my life and just hang in there.
Have you lost a loved one to prostate cancer? (select all that apply)