My Nightmare

Prostate cancer diagnosis

It all started in 2012, routine yearly physical, blood work showed PSA 5.2, doc gave me an antibiotic for ten days, and then it was like a month later tested I think it was 5.5. Something was not right, had a biopsy and ended up Gleason 4+3.

Balancing life after prostatectomy

By the way, I’m working every day going to more blood work and tests, and then my doctor also a urologist and surgeon suggested I have a prostatectomy, and me being naïve said ok sounds good I guess I don’t have time to get a second opinion so it was august 2012 he took it out. That was rough, never got back my sex life back which I was told would be a nerve sparring surgery and I would be fine. Fast forward to 2018, routine physical blood work, PSA 2.0 I said to the doc just to see his reaction, what’s my PSA he says it’s perfect 2.0, I said I don’t have a prostate and he looks at me and says o crap that’s right.

More blood work returning PSA

And so it goes, more blood work, fast forward to 42x radiation treatments to the prostate bed area, went ok at first but then my bowel movements weren’t right, I had to be by a toilet all the time because when I go I gotta go now no waiting or I’m crapping my pants. That is still how it is today, after the radiation my PSA went to 0. Still no erections worth mentioning, nothing, notta, zip. Fast forward to November 2021, routine blood work, PSA 1.9; Fuck, are you serious?

Difficulty with recurance and metastesization

I’m a veteran so this was now with them cause my private insurance went sky high and it's a shame we still have to eat when we reach our sixties. They had a new pet scan machine so they gave me an Auximan pet scan with tracers and all that fancy stuff. I’m sure I spelled that wrong but you know what I mean if you are on this site. Low and behold yup there it is again, shows cancer in the lower back lymph node and I’ve got a mass growing on the side of my bladder and near the neck. Anxiety is setting in, looks like I’m finally going to meet my maker in a few months or a year or two. Now within the last six months, I’ve been made a pin cushion, blood work all the time, MRI’s, CT scans, biopsy to the bladder, and cystoscopy, yup cancer moving and growing on my bladder. Had radiation to the lymph nodes, they said they can’t do that to my bladder because that’s already been cooked back in 2018, now I’m on lupron and xtandi, this medicine makes me feel like shit, no other way to put it.

Side effects experience

I’ve got just about all the side effects you can get. I’m into my third bottle, that’s 3 months and I’m tired all the time, have hot flashes all the time, severe headaches, and just feeling dizzy all the time. I’ve discovered a new talent, I can forget something that I’m doing while I’m doing it. Crazy right? The lupron brings your testosterone down to zero because the prostate cancer feeds from it in your body, so no I can be just sitting down and feeling like I’m in a different world and tears just run down my face and I still can’t figure out what the hell is going on. I told doc and they say there is no medication for cancer that has fewer side effects and the medicine that I’m on is the best. My PSA is 0 right now, I’ve got 2 years and 9 months to go on this medication that cost 14k a month. If I never served my country I would probably be planning my funeral by now. Wish me luck and stay tuned for my upcoming follow-ups to come.