69 Years Young & Seeking Support for Upcoming Surgery

By mw4281

1 min read

Hi, my name is Mike, and I am 69 years young. I am new to this site, and I have been diagnosed with prostate cancer as of last September. I have a Gleason score of 7 (4+3) and decided on radiation treatments and was put on hormone therapy, but after getting a second opinion at the city of hope in Duarte, CA, I have changed my mind.

I decided to have robotic surgery, which is scheduled for next Wednesday. My MRI showed cancer is confined to the prostate (fingers crossed). I would like to get some feedback from men who may have already gone through this ordeal to hear firsthand what to expect. Any info would be greatly appreciated.

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dj67 Member
I am 53 and 3 weeks from surgery, one week since catheter was removed. Surgery itself no big deal, little discomfort for the first week.now to the side affects, they are very real. Currently very leaky when up and moving. I’m not completely incontinent but leaky. As for ED that is where I expected I know it will take time for that to come back. At 69 honestly I probably would have done radiation but that up to each person. The one piece of advise I would give is find a physical therapist that specializes in pelvic floor muscles, I did one visit about one month pre surgery and done one yesterday and will do 4 more visits. I wish you the best of luck.
1. mw4281 Member
 Thank you for your response, I will definitely take your advice regarding the physical therapist. My surgeon actually had me start doing the muscle exercises a couple weeks ago but I am sure a therapist help would be worth it. The feedback that I have received on this forum is very helpful, to hear from others who have gone thru the same ordeal helps me prepare for what is to come for me. Good luck to you on your continued recovery.
beebs Member
I'm 65 and had surgery last June. Everyone is different, but I would not call the whole process easy, but it is certainly bearable and worth it to have the cancer removed. I had quite a bit of discomfort in the gut for a few days, primarily because they fill that area with gas to aid in the surgery, and it does not all get absorbed right away. I had one of the surgical sites bleed quite a bit for a few days after I got home. The catheter is uncomfortable, but again, bearable. Incontinence is annoying and, in my case, has gradually improved, but I'm still not fully dry. I'd say it's manageable at this stage, but not where I finally want to be. ED is also real, but I'm hopeful this will also continue to improve. So, in my case it has not been a "walk in the park," but the cancer is gone and I'm still improving.
1. mw4281 Member
 It sounds like the whole process is a challenge but something that needs to be done. Thank you for taking the time to share, it helps me prepare myself for what is to come. I originally had decided to go with radiation treatments but a little voice kept saying why not just get it out altogether. I am going into this with a positive attitude but also knowing it will be an uphill battle. Good luck to you on your recovery.
2. Dennis E. Golden Moderator & Contributor
 Always good to be improving - often the biggest challenge is having some patience with the whole process
tj65 Member
I am 55 yrs. Old. I just had the robotic surgery on November 5, 2020. So I am now about 10 weeks post op. I had one overnight stay in the hospital and home the next day. They had me up and walking the hallways the same day, about 4 hours after surgery. I had pain killers so everything was bearable. I imagined the worst when I went in, and it was no where near what I thought it would be so that was a nice surprise. The worst discomfort for me was over the next ten days until I had the catheter removed. It was bearable, yet so un human like, I can't explain except im glad it is out. That was the worst of the experience for me. Tolerable but uncomfortable. As for incontinence, I wear a depends max pad, I only need to change it once a day and even then, its pretty dry. Minor dribbles but does not affect my day to day activities. ED, yea, thats a thing, it should be expected, even though we wish we didn't have to. Especially after we have the surgery and think about it later but.....it is what it is. My first 3 month check is coming up. Of course like everyone I am nervous. I was a Gleason 7 3+4 confined to the prostate. However, the pathology report after surgery did say it was positive on the margin on the urethra side so I am currently waiting patiently for my 1st post op PSA test and praying for undetectable. I'm told that this is something we will worry about regardless for the rest of our lives. I wish I could tell you it'll all be a walk in the park but then I wouldn't be being completely honest with you. Its tolerable. Keep your chin up, there are thousands of us in the same boat, you're not alone!
1. mw4281 Member
 Thank you for the info, it sounds like everything went well for you, after all it is a major surgery. My surgery is this Wednesday and I am looking forward to it because I want this cancer out of my body. I know there are no guarantees but at least it gives you a fighting chance. I wish you well with your recovery, best of luck to you.
Guy Meredith Moderator & Contributor
Mike, what made you decide on surgery?
1. mw4281 Member
 I was all set for radiation but I could not shake this voice in the back of my mind saying why don't you just take it out. I did not make this decision with haste, I talked to several medical professionals and they did not push me one way or the other but they tried to give me all of the facts and then let me decide.
2. Guy Meredith Moderator & Contributor
 Many men have the same little voice. The thought of having cancer in your body is scary. My hope is that men will not let it scare them to the point of not considering quality of life issues in the balance. The acceptable tradeoffs are different for each man and only you know what yours are.
kenneth1955 Member
Hey Mike. I'm sorry for what you are going through. Are you sure that is what you want to do. Having your prostate removed. I have talk with many men that have done that and they wish they would have looked at other options. You also have to look at your wife if you have one. She is also in this with you. The men that I have talk with a few had understanding wife's. Out of 5 2 left there husbands. Your sex life will be over. It take a strong women to stand by her husband. Off course you may be one of the lucky ones that will get your erection back it will only take 2 to 3 year for the nerves to heal because they peel them away from the prostate. Also your orgasm as you know them will never be the same. But this is your choice. You are the one that will have to deal with the side effects not the doctor he will just move on to the next man God bless you and be safe...Ken
Dennis E. Golden Moderator & Contributor
You just never know with surgery of any kind. We often have 40 or more men in our education and support meetings. Each one can tell a different tail. One fellow with a Gleason 9 following surgery has had no rise in PSA while another with a Gleason 7 needed radiation for a rising PSA We are all different and unique as to how we will react to any treatment. My cancer was confined with clear margins - and 5 years later did radiation - today the psa is 0.01 You just never know. Best advice is make a decision and know you made the best one with the information you had available at the time . ... Dennis(prostate <a href='https://cancer.net' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>cancer.net</a> TEAM)
Dennis E. Golden Moderator & Contributor
If you want to check out my journey with radiation I did a video journal - it can be found at <a href='https://www.theprostatecancercoach.com' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>www.theprostatecancercoach.com</a>
scoofer Member
I was diagnosed in 2015 by a random prostate biopsy which showed all 12 cores positive for cancer. I was told it was very aggressive (Gleason 9). In fact, the amount of cancer in each core was such that the doctor (who only presents facts for the patient to make up their own mind and never tells his patients what to do) said "I'm going to treat you as though you were my own brother and I'm telling you that you need to have your prostate removed if for no other reason than to preserve your urethra!" However, when I've shared this story with other doctors many have cocked an eyebrow askew. I ended up scheduling a Robotically Assisted Laparoscopic Radical Prostatectomy. They wheeled me into the room and scooted me onto a table which was shaped in human form. My arms were placed perpendicular to my torso and the anesthesiologist put in a mainline and a pic line and knocked me out. I learned later that the table was tipped head down to somewhere between 30 & 60 degrees (reverse Trandellenburg position, I think they call it). This was done to allow gravity to move the internal organs downward away from the surgical site. I learned that the table split in two and separated my legs before they made small incisions and positioned the robotic arms inside me. If you have a wife please warn her that your face will be super puffy when she sees you in the recovery room (Covid allowing). Gas was then pumped in to give them more room to work inside me. Later on you may feel discomfort in your shoulders as this gas takes a few days to exit your system completely. I learned that the table split in two and separated my legs before the surgical team made small incisions and positioned the robotic arms inside me. They found I had seminal vesicle involvement of the cancer as well as perineurial invasion (PNI). I went into it knowing this would not be a nerve sparing operation and that I would only be able to achieve erections with penile injections, making sexual intimacy with my wife a much less spontaneous event. Many things have distracted me and I'm still trying to find the right mix at a specialty compounding pharmacy to do the job without me aching so much I can't focus on the job at hand. On their way out they also repaired an umbilical hernia which was much larger than anyone had realized from the pre-surgical imaging. Most patients spend one (or two) night/s in the hospital. I ended up staying 3 nights as I had complications. My surgeon accidentally clamped too hard when attempting to lift a bundle of nerves out of harms way. I lost all control of my right adductor muscle in the interior side of my thigh. Luckily they had not messed with the nerves controlling my abductors or I would have lost the ability to walk until those nerves healed. I recommend your wife bring a pillow you can hold against your stomach on the drive home as speed bumps or potholes can make you feel like returning to the hospital. If you have the means I suggest buying an electric-powered EasyBoy type lounge chair. You may find that you'll sleep here better than in bed. I don't think the catheter bag hanging at my side would have bothered me as much had my physiology not located a blood vessel near the end of my urethra making it painful at the slightest movement of the bag. In ten days or so, when the catheter is removed it is not necessarily painful but it's a surprising sensation. Some doctors may trick you as to the precise timing of when they will pull it out so you don't tighten up and make it more stressful on yourself. I recommend finding a rare specialist who provides pelvic floor therapy. Not only will they help you do Kegel exercises correctly to improve your urinary continence but they'll also massage your stomach to keep scar tissue from forming and insert a gloved finger up your rectum where they will massage in a 360 degree pattern to minimize scar tissue inside your pelvic floor. They will give you some standard PT exercises to work on at home as well. I've had many abdominal surgeries in my life but I'll tell you this surgery took me much longer to heal from even though it was supposedly minimally invasive. It was 6 weeks before I was up and around. The pathology report should be read to you about two weeks after surgery. Unfortunately, my samples showed they did not end up with clear margins, meaning the cancer went right up to (and beyond) the cut edge. Though Gleason 7 is nothing to sneeze at since you are having to make some very difficult decisions, my doctor told me that my decisions had all been made for me. I had very few options but to move forward on a standard of care for patients in my condition. At Gleason 7 I expect you may be fine with a little salvage radiation possibly. Subsequent MRI's confirmed that I had metastases throughout my pelvis, hips, and spine (Stage IV). I was beyond radiation and was deemed incurable. I signed a document for treatment that was palliative in nature and that I understood it was not curative. They've done a good job of giving me medicines that give me as good a quality of life as I can expect and to minimize my bone pain. I pray you will be fine soon and you can put this behind you mentally and find ways to deal with the ED issues. Oh, BTW, most men experience significant shortening of the length of their penis. Most doctors are loathe to convey this info to men figuring the patient will deny themselves the treatment they require to save their lives. Penile rehabilitation was frustrating and embarrassing for me and did not produce any lengthening for me. It may have been good to bring healing oxygenated blood to the area. I'm not sure, but it's possible that rehab is offered more as a psychological placebo for prostate cancer patients because men have had a lifelong relationship with this part of their anatomy and it's central to how we think of ourselves. If this has raised any additional quests I'd be willing to clarify anything misleading. I hope all this detail has not scared you. That was not my intent. I just like to be ultra-informed. I even watched an entire robotically assisted surgery on Youtube before agreeing to the procedure. I'll be praying for you, my friend.
1. xteex Member
 Hi Scooter seems like I will have to injections as well when its time I been reading on the internet and that seems like the most common problem is finding the correct dosage? I may alot of questions for you I hope you don't mind thanks
2. Guy Meredith Moderator & Contributor
 Hi, xTeex, Your urologist would be able to give you information on dosage.
mw4281 Member
Hi this is Mike, I wanted to give an update. I had my surgery 2 days ago, i arrived at the hospital at 6:30am for an 8:30 surgery. There were delays at the hospital and my surgery did not take place until 11:00. My surgeon said it was one of the easier robotic surgeries he has done and he has performed over 1300. I actually have 6 incisions in my body and the soreness level is off the charts. They did not keep me overnight, I went home around 8pm and went right to bed. I had walked around the hospital before leaving and I was a little unsteady. The next morning I could not even get out of bed by myself, lucky my son is here to help me. I did do some walking around the house but taking care not to over do it. My second day home (today) I was able to get out of bed myself and do some more walking as well as sit at the computer for awhile. I know recovery is going to be a challenge but I just have to remember to not try to do to much. my biggest surprise so far was that I was not prepared for the unbelievable soreness throughout my core. I will give another update later.
1. Dennis E. Golden Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention user-id="3266570" username="mw4281"/> ... The more I was able to move about the faster things got better Best for me was walking - first just in the house, then up and down the driveway and then it was up and down the road from there. I was amazed how quickly recovery came and hope you have a similar experience. Look forward to your updates ... Dennis(prostatecancer.net team )
mw4281 Member
Hi, this is Mike checking back in. I have now reached 1 week since my prostatectomy, that week has definitely been a challenge. Having the catheter along with the soreness from the surgery is not something to take lightly, each day was a challenge but at the same time I felt myself getting a little bit better each day. I tried to move around as much as possible and take short walks but I did not want to over extend myself. My doctor says it will take about 6 weeks to recover from the surgery and that incontinence and ED will take much much longer. I had my follow up appointment yesterday and got some really good news, the cancer was confined to the prostate. No cancer in the lymph nodes or even on the outer edges of the prostate so I feel very blessed. I got the catheter out and now that part of the recovery begins. I know that I still have challenges ahead but I am optimistic that I can beat this in time.
1. Richard Faust Community Admin
 Hi Mike. Sounds like great news on the cancer front. Understanding that there are challenges ahead, but being ready to move forward with a positive attitude is a great start. Our contributor Will wrote about his surgery recovery here: <a href='https://prostatecancer.net/living/recovery-road' target='_blank'>https://prostatecancer.net/living/recovery-road/</a>. In addition, Bob wrote about getting back to an active life here: <a href='https://prostatecancer.net/living/staying-active-during-recovery' target='_blank'>https://prostatecancer.net/living/staying-active-during-recovery/</a>. Wishing you the best and feel free to keep us posted on how you are doing. Richard (ProstateCancer.net Team)
2. Dennis E. Golden Moderator & Contributor
 Good new Mike - most men about 70% tend to beat this especially when caught early. Our MD's suggest using a low dose Viagra etc in conjunction with a pump soon after the catheter is removed to keep blood flow moving. It does get better especially as you learn to roll with the ups and downs in life that follow prostate surgery. ... Dennis(prostatecancer.net Team)
xteex Member
Hello all my name is Thomas I'm 53 years old... nice to meet you all. Let's see where do I start well I was diagnosed with prostate cancer in November 2020 like most it was definitely a devastating blow to me my mind started fast forwarding to my kids life, my wife, I started thinking will I be there for them did I do all I could for them you know the usual stuff. Well my PSA was around 125 so I began researching and everywhere I looked I only saw people having PSA scores as high as 20? So I was confused, was I missing a decimal point or something lol my oncologist and urologist told me a number that high means you definitely have cancer and that I needed to start thinking of a treatment plan right away so I decided to go with surgery in January my urologist said he would do his best to preserve one side of the bundle of nerves, but to no avail that didn't work out so now not only am I dealing urinary incontinence but the reality that I will have ED the rest of my life and at 53 I was very much enjoying sex with the wife! Anyway after surgery my pathology report says that some of the cancer may have spread to the seminal vesicles so now they want me to do radiation and hormone therapy, but doing research it's my understanding that won't be a cure either so I'm pretty much decided against doing the radiation treatments for now I have been looking at natural alternatives for beating this disease all this is new to me but I just can't see how furthering damaging my body with their current treatments is helping "quality of life vs quantity of life" very much confused. Sorry for such a long intro but I'm glad to finally make a connection with other men who are or will be on this same journey
1. Dennis E. Golden Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention user-id="3270984" username="xteex"/> .. Similar situation had surgery for a "so called contained Gleason 9" A few years later I experienced a rising PSA and needed to undergo 40 radiation treatments plus hormone therapy. That was back in 2018 and so far all is good with my PSA in the 0.02 area. All I can say is we are all different and it is good to speak with your physicians and make a decision that is best for you. Personally I think natural treatments work well in conjunction with medical ones. So far my quality of life has been good. Today my wife and I enjoy a great relationship and discovered that there are many ways to be close and strangely enough we are closer today than ever before. 😀 Always wise to keep your options open and speak with others on this journey. I suspect you will hear range of experiences. Urinary incontinence should end especially if you are doing Kegel's on a consistent basis. In my case I saw improvement in 3 months and was dry ( and still am) in 6 months after surgery. I did a video journal of my 8 weeks of radiation and lupron - feel free to look it up on <a href='https://www.theprostatecancercoach.com' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>www.theprostatecancercoach.com</a>. Hang in there things tend to get better ... Dennis(prostatecancer.net Team)
2. mw4281 Member
 thanks for the advice especially in regards to the incontinence because that at first is very frustrating. It sounds like patience is the key word.
mw4281 Member
Hi, this is Mike checking in with an update. It has been 2 weeks today since my surgery and one week since the catheter removal. I still have a fair amount of soreness in my mid section from the surgery with slow improvements daily, my mobility is improving also I just have to be careful not to try to do too much. The incontinence is very real, I am doing my kegel exercises 3 times a day and have reached out to my primary care physician to connect me with a physical therapist who specializes in the floor muscles. I realize that healing from surgery will take 6 - 8 weeks but the incontinence and ED is long term. My physician did give me a low dose of viagra to increase blood flow to the penis, I am curious if others out there can give me some feedback on how that may have worked for them. I appreciate all of the feedback and comments from others who have either gone thru this or may be going thru this now.
1. mw4281 Member
 Thank you for the info regarding incontinence. I think the key word is patience and doing the kegel exercises regularly. I have read others say that a physical therapist can help also, do you have any thoughts on that? My urologist also prescribed low dose viagra so it sounds like getting that blood flow is very important also.
2. Guy Meredith Moderator & Contributor
 If you are able to have erections after surgery the doctors will suggest daily low doses of Viagra, Cialis, or such and probably a greater dose if you want to attempt intercourse. This is called penile rehabilitation. The vessels that supply blood to produce an erection will be trying to recover from the shock of surgery and the Viagra will help keep them functioning. The erectile tissue in the penis needs a constant supply of oxygenated blood via erections to remain healthy. If the tissue does not receive the needed oxygenate blood the tissue begins to atrophy and fibrous tissue may develop, both of which cause serious issues with erections.
mw4281 Member
Hi, this is Mike and I thought that I would share an update on my prostate cancer journey. It has been six weeks now since robotic surgery and 5 weeks since the catheter was removed, I don't feel that I have regained all of my stamina as of yet but I would say that I have regained about 90% of it. I can do most things now that I was able to do before surgery but I do get tired a little faster. I had shared about 1 month ago that my cancer was contained in the prostate and now the results of my PSA test (6 weeks post surgery) came back .008, I consider myself very fortunate so far with the results that I have gotten. The incontinence is of course an issue but I have seen some improvement since the catheter was removed. I also have had a session of physical therapy for this and the therapist was very helpful, she was able to determine that I was doing the kegel exercises correctly and coach me on how I can improve the exercises and take it to another level by improving my breathing technique. She also gave me some good tips regarding not drinking water or other liquids within 2 hours of my bedtime if possible, and also not urinating at the slightest urge, she said you do not want your bladder to get use to being empty all the time you want it to hold liquids until you have a strong urge to go. It may sound like simple suggestions but I feel little things can make a difference. My doctor did prescription viagra for ED so I am hoping that will help in the long run also. I know that the incontinence and ED are long term fixes so patience is the key but when you see even slight improvement that is encouraging. I know that I am fortunate to have had good results so far but I also am aware that you always have to keep your guard up and follow thru with your doctors recommendations. I would like to wish everyone on this forum the best as we all go on this journey together.