An Unplanned Journey and Future: Part 1

By Dennis E. Golden

1 min read

In this series, Dennis looks first at the shock of facing an unplanned future due to a prostate cancer diagnosis. Suddenly all plans disappear, and you are traveling at high speed without a road map. The key he suggests is to take a deep breath. It can be good to be confident in your medical team, and be confident of a positive outcome.

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Jim Early Moderator & Contributor
Hi Dennis, Yesterday in my support group we had three new members. They all were in the initial decisional stage of their cancer treatment. During the meeting it became even clearer to me why the support group is so important. The biggest revelation was that most of us, while reeling from the initial diagnosis, need reassurance and need to know we are not alone. The message that usually comes clear in the meeting is that for most newly diagnosed there is simply no need to rush or panic. The group's stories regarding doing personal research, getting a second opinion and expressing regrets for rushing treatment all help calm and reassure the newly diagnosed. As the facilitator, it isn't rare to hear how relieved and boosted men are to hear of others journeys and to be able to share their fears and questions with those who can understand and empathize. In the group, we try to remind ourselves and, especially the newbies, that we are light years ahead of where we were in diagnosis and treatment even 10 years ago; and that the future is even brighter! Looking forward to Part 2 of your journey!
Sue Franke Moderator & Contributor
Good words, Dennis. Thanks for sharing. One of your comments that hit me is about not knowing what your plan will be initially, but your medical team does. If you have a good medical team, they will direct you where you need to go and when you need to be there. And it usually moves pretty quickly. Sometimes finding the medical team that you are comfortable with and that you can trust is the biggest challenge. But once that's done, you have direction and someone steering that for you who has the knowledge to make the best medical decisions.
Bob Tierno Member
Dennis, Excellent video. Over the past year I have been an advocate for three friends/associates who were diagnosed with prostate cancer. After the initial shock they reached out for support and fortunately all are doing well following surgery. Bob Tierno, Moderator
Dennis E. Golden Moderator & Contributor
<inline-mention username="Bob Tierno" user-id="3257817"/> Thank you for the kind review. Right after my surgery I started a non-profit foundation <a href='https://www.PCaAware.org' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>www.PCaAware.org</a> to educate men and their partners on the need for MEN to be aware and pro-active when it comes to issues below the belt line. And so agree on sharing information and supporting other men and their partners who are on this same journey. So good to hear your buds are doing well.
peekaafighter Member
<inline-mention username="Dennis Golden" user-id="3259730"/> That is wonderful advice to anyone facing a diagnosis for the first time. Having myself battled with post diagnosis anxieties for 4 years while under Active Surveillance and only recently having started ADT+IGRT, I marvel at the stoic determination you have brought to bear in your fight against the disease. May you continue to inspire others through your experiences.
Dennis E. Golden Moderator & Contributor
peekaafighter Thank you for those kind words - and glad that you can find some bit of comfort with my random thoughts. In the beginning of my prostate cancer journey I was emotional. A good description = a total emotional mess. After a while I discovered worry was not doing me any good. Life is a never ending series of learning experiences. What has been a new learning experience since May has been dealing with grief after the loss of my wife of some 57 years. The un-welcomed life lesson I learned over the past few months is when facing any kind of emotional crisis be it cancer or ( fill in the blank) is ...Run head on full speed ahead into the emotional storm ... cry, curse, scream and wallow in grief. ... because only then will you get through it IF you macho up and put it on the back burner ... it follows you forever. None of us can laugh and be happy 24/7 - And none of us can stay in emotional pain 24/7. Embrace the uncomfortable and the pain in time a "new" stronger normal view comes into focus . God bless ... Dennis(ProstateCancer.net TEAM)