Prostate cancer

In 2018 I had severe lower left side pain in lower back. I was 64 at that time and was very fit and was my entire life. The pain got so bad that I was forced to go to emergency. Doctor I saw decided to book me for an angioplasty without even looking at my back. I told him it was not my heart it is my lower left back. He still did nothing and began to walk away and I asked him what about the pain and I was told he would look at that after results of angioplasty came back and he left. I told myself as I sat in the parking lot that I was in trouble now. The pain got so bad that I was screaming into my pillow. My heart was good like I had told him. To make this shorter I will tell that I went to emergency 3 more times and not one of the doctors ever looked at my back? They could see the distress I was in but nothing was done to try to stop the pain. Did X-rays on me and said that everything looked OK and let me go and I was left to deal with the pain on my own. I was forced into the streets to get something to stop my pain. Over the next two years I saw at least ten doctors and told them that suicide was now possible and still nothing was done about it. Could not afford the street drugs and was afraid of them so I stopped that. Then I began to have bowel problems and was sent for a colonoscopy and that came back okay. As that doctor walked away I asked him what about the pain and without stopping he yelled if you’re in pain go to emergency. My hell continued. My wife and I began looking at the internet to see what could cause this kind of pain and prostate cancer came up right away. I went back to doctors and told him to check my prostate and I ended up getting a biopsy done. The results came back with ten of twelve cores positive for high grade cancer that was already spreading.Even after this finding I was told that my pain had nothing to do with the cancer and that would be looked into after they deal with the cancer. I could not take the pain anymore and I told them that if it wasn’t for my strong belief in God I would have ended this already but I was left with the pain. I asked how long I would last without treatment and was told maybe a year. My decision was to refuse treatment and let this happen. I told them that this would stop the pain and I was willing to do this. I told them I was already too weak from trying to survive without help and the cancer was a blessing to me. Now it’s 2022 and I’m past my year but things are happening that tell me I’m close now. I am still okay with my decision and I’m looking forward for this to finally end. I have sent emails to this hospital and asked how a man of my age at the time this all started was not ever asked about my prostate ? With the symptoms I was showing how do ten doctors not know that lower back pain in an elderly male is a red flag for prostate problems. They had no answer for this all they could do is send me an email saying they were sorry about that. These so called experts gave me a death sentence is what they have done and I told them this. I am finally on pain medication but I knew that once it spreads it is no longer curable so my decision was easy to make. If someone would have listened to me at the beginning I may have had a chance but it had over two years to progress to the point it was at. Now I am wondering does the fatigue and weakness I have been experiencing double in intensity within a week? This is why I think that I must be close now or can I continue in this state? All I know is that this has been out of my control from the beginning but I found out how strong my faith really is.
Thanks for letting me tell my story.
My prayers are with each and everyone