All That is Visible is Not All That is There

By Alfred Samuels

2 min read

If you look at me, you may not always know what's going on within me. However, I can feel my bones creaking in silent pain as tiredness sets in. Now my life is full of thorns as I curse my existence on this planet. Cancer brings fatigue, brain fog, and other side effects that are constant companions.

I'm not the same person I was before cancer

Repeatedly explaining that I have cancer becomes tedious, monotonous, and emotional, leaving me on the brink of emotional exhaustion. My mental state is in disarray as dark thoughts cloud my mind, as I try to stay one step ahead of death's specter. That person is not me, the person you knew before I became seriously ill. I was a bundle of joy, with a smiling face and a hand that always leaned over to help others. A former shadow of myself I may be; however, I will never give up and never gave in.

The thoughts of a warm Caribbean or African landscape, with mesmerizing and breathtaking scenic views, are what I yearn for. Fresh food, fruit, and memories of my mother's Sunday cooking aroma further those thoughts. Only my phenomenal wife keeps me in check and holds my heart in everything we do. Assisting me in every aspect of my life, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. If only I could marry her all over again, I would. To see those adoring loving eyes say once again, "Yes I do."

Every laugh and smile we have shared reminds us what a precious gift life has been to us over the past 11 years. Each day when I wake up, I realize how lucky I am to be alive. In the face of cancer, I learned to appreciate life's most important things, as it changed my life. It elevated me above the material world and gave me 'time.' Time I now spend more wisely.

Using my voice to create change

Currently, I help others by talking about my cancer journey without shyness or reservation. I believe it is my responsibility to educate others about the dangers of not checking their prostate health early on. By having a voice in the cancer world, I mean having an impact on it. As I voice my knowledge and thoughts unapologetically, I hope that lives will be saved. Using my voice to create change is without a doubt also an essential tool.

It is possible for people to take anything material from you, but they cannot take away your voice. A voice encourages patients to unite and support one another. You should always remember that voice power is unbeatable. No 2 voices are the same; each person's voice has something unique to say.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The ProstateCancer.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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Beverly Baldwin Moderator & Contributor
I enjoyed reading this article! My best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer at the tender age of 38. She has stated several times that she is not the same as she was prior to treatment and cancer, often saying her memory among other things have been affected. It is good to know that you are using your voice to educate others on the importance of getting screened and checked. I have come across many men that say that what they do not know cannot hurt them. Contrary, it can and will hurt you and those that love you. When there are others around you that can relate, I feel you are more prone to fight the disease head on versus feeling alone going through the process. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights! Many blessings to you and your family. Beverly (Prostatecancer.net Team)
Sue Franke Moderator & Contributor
<inline-mention username="Alfred Samuels" user-id="6921303"/> Alfred, thank you so much for sharing your story. I very much appreciate that you are using you voice to help others. Those of us who have or had cancer have a story to share that can reach people in a way others cannot. It's hard to say that much good can come from cancer but in sharing your story, opening the eyes of others, using your experience to encourage others to pay attention to their health all show that good actually can come from bad. Keep doing your good and keep sharing your voice - it can make a difference of life or death.
CommunityMember5adede Member
Thank you for your words....reading your article is like me standing in a mirror.
Skyking2446 Member
I'm in the same situation. You have no control over your feelings, lack ambition, energy, fatigue and just lack of interest in anything. Have to really work at getting things done. It's been a little over 3 years now. Although I have great Dr's. helping out and being there. My group of close friends has been a great help at listening and just being there for whatever I would need help with.