All That is Visible is Not All That is There
Last updated: August 2023
If you look at me, you may not always know what's going on within me. However, I can feel my bones creaking in silent pain as tiredness sets in. Now my life is full of thorns as I curse my existence on this planet. Cancer brings fatigue, brain fog, and other side effects that are constant companions.
I'm not the same person I was before cancer
Repeatedly explaining that I have CANCER becomes tedious, monotonous, and emotional, leaving me on the brink of emotional exhaustion. My mental state is in disarray as dark thoughts cloud my mind, as I try to stay one step ahead of death's specter. That person is not me, the person you knew before I became seriously ill. I was a bundle of joy, with a smiling face and a hand that always leaned over to help others. A former shadow of myself I may be; however, I will never give up and never gave in.
The thoughts of a warm Caribbean or African landscape, with mesmerizing and breathtaking scenic views, are what I yearn for. Fresh food, fruit, and memories of my mother's Sunday cooking aroma further those thoughts. Only my phenomenal wife keeps me in check and holds my heart in everything we do. Assisting me in every aspect of my life, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. If only I could marry her all over again, I would. To see those adoring loving eyes say once again, 'Yes I do.'
Every laugh and smile we have shared reminds us what a precious gift 'life' has been to us over the past 11 years. Each day when I wake up, I realize how lucky I am to be alive. In the face of cancer, I learned to appreciate life's most important things, as it changed my life. It elevated me above the material world and gave me 'time.' Time I now spend more wisely.
Using my voice to create change
Currently, I help others by talking about my cancer journey without shyness or reservation. I believe it is my responsibility to educate others about the dangers of not checking their prostate health early on. By having a voice in the cancer world, I mean having an impact on it. As I voice my knowledge and thoughts unapologetically, I hope that lives will be saved. Using my voice to create change is without a doubt also an essential tool.
It is possible for people to take anything material from you, but they cannot take away your voice. A voice encourages patients to unite and support one another. You should always remember that voice power is unbeatable. No 2 voices are the same; each person's voice has something unique to say.
Alfred Samuels - Patient Advocate
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