Are You In Control Of Your Destiny?

By Diane Talbert

2 min read

I met Mr. Albert, a 74-year old industrialist, at a prostate cancer support group. I asked him if he was willing to talk to me (a woman) about his journey. He was so happy to share his story with me.

Offering support

He kept giving me kudos for being so knowledgeable about this disease. This was such a proud moment in my life. My father has had prostate cancer for about 15 years. All my knowledge came from being a part of www.ProstateCancer.net.

I loved being part of such a great group of advocates. Of course, I would never know what’s it’s like to have the disease, but I could offer support.

A few years left to live

Mr. Albert has his own company and is financially set, but rarely did he go to visit the doctor for checkups. He had planned a vacation to visit his elder brother in California, but fell sick immediately. The doctor discovered that he had a Gleason score - a yardstick for measuring the severity of prostate cancer - of an 8.

The doctors told him he had a few more years to live if they did not start surgery immediately; the cancer had spread to other parts of the body and had become severe.

They wanted him to undergo surgery immediately. So many question came to his mind. He was immediately saddled with questions like, "Am I going to defeat this cancer? Will I live though this?"

Telling the family

He immediately traveled back home to tell his wife and children what was going on. How was he going to break the news to them? All of his children, wife, and close friends got together at once.

He has a good support team of family and friends. His team of doctors are knowledgeable about prostate cancer. Having good insurance, transportation, and a fighting spirit has helped him trust that he is in the best hands.

Taking a step back

The doctors made him feel like he was racing against time. His advice to everyone is to take a step back and realize what your options are.

He did have the surgery, and it was successful. Radiation and chemotherapy followed. The industrialist lamented how he had to do a bone scan every four months and take his pills every day.

Cherishing every moment

Mr. Albert is a grandfather and lives in peace with his wife and cherishes every moment he has on this earth. Seven years have passed since his prostate cancer diagnosis.

He is not free from prostate cancer, but he always advises all men to make time for their health. His doctors play a major role in navigating his day-to-day health. They provide different treatment options for him and help to manage his condition.

Getting tested early for prostate cancer

Albert suggests that men who are above 40 should get themselves tested for prostate cancer. The senior man firmly believes that he is going to pull through fully. He knows the cancer is changing him in many ways. Yet, he still has dreams of a long life with his wife and family. Family is everything to him; he still craves fun, love, and living life.

Mr. Albert thanked me for talking to him; he said that most people don’t want to approach the subject. Most people have to figure out what to say to him. When it’s all said and done, we all need love and kindness.

Let me say this again: get checked early.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The ProstateCancer.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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Dennis E. Golden Moderator & Contributor
Mr Albert and I could be twins in many ways. I was diagnosed with a Gleason 9 vs Albert's 8 but suspect we are not too different. Also my cancer had not spread (at least) according the pathology reports following my robotic surgery. A few years after being pronounced "cured" the cancer returned and was treated with Lupron and external beam radiation. Each time my PSA numbers rose there were never outward signs of an advancing cancer. I am always amazed by men who ( not experiencing any symptoms presume) think they are immune from so many diseases that can and will kill you if left untreated. The PSA test is not 100% accurate. But what in life is? I also strongly advise men to at least get a base line PSA test in their 40's and every few years after that. If you are seeing a steady rise in PSA make an appointment with a urologist. If you do not see a rise keep getting a test every few years. And from what I am seeing you may not always need a blood test - just a urine sample. 😀 Yes your general practitioner (GP) can do a digital exam. Unfortunately irregularities in "that special place" are not always so obvious and can easily be missed ( especially if they occur on the opposite side of the prostate). It happened to me and also to many other men. There is no magic number with PSA testing. I was in the so called "normal range" according to my GP. And then was diagnosed by a urologist just weeks later with an aggressive cancer. Had I not taken the initiative to meet with a urologist the next diagnosis in the future most likely would have been, "Dennis you have metastasized prostate cancer. Men need to take responsibility for their personal health sooner than later. While no one wants to talk about cancer or death - ignoring it will not make it go away. If you can remember just one thing it is this "Silence Is Not A Cure When It Comes To Prostate Cancer" ... Dennis(prostate <a href='https://cancer.net' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>cancer.net</a> TEAM)
1. Diane Talbert Moderator & Contributor
 Thanks so much for sharing Dennis!! I have learned such a great deal from you. When they say, knowledge is power - this is so true. Keep up the good work!! Diane
Beverly Baldwin Moderator & Contributor
<inline-mention user-id="3268418" username="Diane Talbert"/> I truly enjoyed reading your article. It is not often you find WOMEN researching and advocating for prostate cancer. Much of your article made me think of my dad (who passed from prostate cancer in 2012). We never wanted to know how much time my dad actually had left. However, we were told by doctors that there wasn't anything else they could do. The portion of your article about taking a step back is so valuable; weighing your options are crucial. Each person's case and treatment can be different. Early detection was something my dad actually did do. Once traces of my dad's cancer was no longer detected, he didn't continue checkups. Boy, if I knew back then what I know now. He fell ill and never recovered because the cancer had spread so much. I have even met young men who were diagnosed as early as 32 years old. Early detection is definitely key. The sooner, the better. Thanks so much for this article; especially educating yourself on what many may consider a man's disease! Beverly (Prostatecancer.net Team)
1. Diane Talbert Moderator & Contributor
 Thanks so much for the kind words Beverly. My father got prostate cancer when he was 72. His is now 87. I have learned so much on this journey and continue to learn. I even join a prostate support group. I have 2 sons 42 and 44 who won't get checked; drives me crazy. They don't understand the importance of getting checked and especially since there grandfather was diagnose with PC. I'm so sorry to hear about your father, but you are so right when you said, "if I knew than what I know now". Don't beat yourself up over that. My mom pass at age 37 from complications of diabetes. I was 19. I know this is off topic but If I only knew then what I know know. Her life would have been totally different. Knowledge is Power. We will both continue to grow and empower ourselves. Thank you so much for all you do. Diane
2. Beverly Baldwin Moderator & Contributor
 Yes, ma'am! Knowledge is power! When you stop learning, you stop growing! Beverly (Prostatecancer.net Team)
Diane Talbert Moderator & Contributor
Thanks so much for the kind words Beverly. My father got prostate cancer when he was 72. His is now 87. I have learned so much on this journey and continue to learn. I even join a prostate support group. I have 2 sons 42 and 44 who won't get checked; drives me crazy. They don't understand the importance of getting checked and especially since there grandfather was diagnose with PC. I'm so sorry to hear about your father, but you are so right when you said, "if I knew than what I know now". Don't beat yourself up over that. My mom pass at age 37 from complications of diabetes. I was 19. I know this is off topic but If I only knew then what I know know. Her life would have been totally different. Knowledge is Power. We will both continue to grow and empower ourselves. Thank you so much for all you do. Diane
Diane Talbert Moderator & Contributor
Thanks so much for the kind words Beverly. My father got prostate cancer when he was 72. His is now 87. I have learned so much on this journey and continue to learn. I even join a prostate support group. I have 2 sons 42 and 44 who won't get checked; drives me crazy. They don't understand the importance of getting checked and especially since there grandfather was diagnose with PC. I'm so sorry to hear about your father, but you are so right when you said, "if I knew than what I know now". Don't beat yourself up over that. My mom pass at age 37 from complications of diabetes. I was 19. I know this is off topic but If I only knew then what I know know. Her life would have been totally different. Knowledge is Power. We will both continue to grow and empower ourselves. Thank you so much for all you do. Diane