Emotional Confetti

After your life is thrown up in the air, be it from a prostate cancer diagnosis or some other unexpected earth-shattering life crisis, the emotional confetti of the many puzzle pieces that were your former life slowly drift back down to the ground. And there you stand – the mess is all around you, and you ask when and where should I start?

In time you begin to realize that NOW is the right time to start putting the puzzle back together. The trouble is that in your new world of chaos, no one left the box behind so you could see what the final image would reveal.

Taking advantage of new opportunities

I decided early on with my aggressive prostate cancer diagnosis that silence was not going to be a cure. In fact, back in 2013 my wife said to me, “Dennis in your case, Silence is not Golden.” A funny twist on the better-known version. She was right, as wives often are.

With cancer as a motivator, I began reaching out, and it did not take long for things to start taking shape. These days my life is often filled with unexpected opportunities simply because I now choose to let things evolve vs trying to force solutions.

Connecting with others

The other day I got a call from a fellow who had been following me online and wanted to see if we could meet over lunch. Falling back on my life philosophy to be open to new opportunities, I said sure. We met and learned a lot about each other professionally and personally. While well-educated and quite successful, he mentioned missing the camaraderie and support of being with other men after he retired.

He said he had prostate cancer and now felt more isolated than ever since learning his diagnosis. His first question was why men don’t develop a group of support friends they can count on, especially when facing a health or emotional crisis.

He, like many men I know lately, are asking "how do I build deeper friendships that go beyond the weekly golf game or the card game or a bunch of guys chatting but not really sharing information?"

Be kind to others

Currently I am finding more and more that people are trying to reach out and connect. Perhaps it is due to living in a world that right now is totally upside down. Personally, I have sought out spirituality as a resource, and all the while I keep open to meeting new people and listening more intensely.

Here is what I am discovering. There are people around me who can sound confident and yet have deep anxiety. I have found people who look healthy but are quite ill. There are others who can look happy but are miserable on the inside. Others are often seen by others as good-looking and attractive but feel ugly on the inside.

Now as I am reassembling my many scattered puzzle pieces on the floor, one message came through loud and clear. I suggest it is one that all men should take to heart: Be kind, open your mind and heart because … every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.