The Will to Live

By Alfred Samuels

2 min read

I have been a patient with advanced prostate cancer for more than 12 years. How people with cancer manage to live their lives despite their illness has always fascinated me. Along with disrupting my life as a patient, cancer has had a profound effect on those I love.

When patients were diagnosed with cancer 50 years ago, coping with the disease was rarely discussed. In the past 25 years, though, I think considerable changes have occurred in this area.

Choosing to live and enjoy each day

I think health professionals are now more focused on how well or poorly patients manage their illnesses. A cancer diagnosis may endanger our lives, but our intrinsic need to live motivates us to fight for our lives.

As a positive-thinking patient, I feel I have always been better able to handle difficulties brought on by my illness. I think I have reacted to treatment better due to my state of mind. Even so, there have been situations when my condition's complexity dictated a better course of action for its success. However, this was independent of my attitude or willpower.

Thinking back to those early days, I had to reconsider my options after learning I had cancer. I made the conscious choice to live and enjoy every day. Later in my advocacy work, I had the opportunity to mentor male cancer patients.

Discovering space for happiness

The opportunity opened my eyes to the challenges men faced when it came to dealing with mental health issues. I think patients can often rediscover an appreciation of life as a result of the fear of death. It could be friendships, love, or life itself. We start to be more receptive to ideas and take chances that we would not have taken before.

Getting my head around my diagnosis and facing the uncertainties of living with my illness made my life more meaningful. A great deal of the hypocrisy in life disappeared when even the most banal pleasures increased. I discovered there was still space for happiness when anger and bitterness faded.

Patients often talk about how they plan to handle their problems. All of us, however dissimilar, have gone through a comparable psychological rehabilitation process. But following COVID-19, I think people realized how important life and intimacy were.

Never give up

Life remains stable when it contains a few constants. Whether or not you fear death, you can have the desire to live. We deserve a more enjoyable life, and we expect more from it. But, on the other hand, are we prepared to venture beyond our usual boundaries to get more out of it?

I understand that life will not always be rainbows and sunshine. The struggle to survive takes place every day. "How long can I go on?" is a question that haunts me every morning. How much longer can I endure?

There have been days when I have felt overly worn out and desperate to give up on everything. I then looked more closely at the life statement and deeply into myself. Then I saw the answer: "Never give up, never give in."

I think that's the remedy to the 'Will to Live.'

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The ProstateCancer.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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Bobby Bofinger Moderator & Contributor
Alfred, thank you for this. I immediately thought of Jimmy V. "Don't give up. Dont ever give up." In his famous speech in 1993, he announced the Jimmy V foundation, and also that motto. That occurs at around 9:00 in this video, but watch the whole thing if you have time. That's something I just need to do once in a while. Maybe you and/or others do too -- https://youtu.be/HuoVM9nm42E?feature=shared
JohnnyC Member
Alfred I must concur with Bobby. “ I will never give up, I will never give in”. My wife has been ill for close to 17 years with sever issues with adhesions causing bowl resections and rebuilding. She lives in pain all the time and needs me to keep her going. For her I will do all I possibly can and endure what ever side effects treatments throw at me to remain here for her. I am stage 4 had in remission after radiation and hormone treatments. After 30 months on hormone I went off and that lasted 5 months . Test showed this devilish disease had spread unchecked in that 5 month period and I now have all over my spine, several ribs and spots on the lung. So this time I started chemotherapy with 2 hormone treatment options in my regiment. I am now 1 month past my last of 6 chemotherapy infusions. I actually have hair coming back in but still have the neuropathy in my feet annd hands and “chemo toes” but it’s a small price to pay to be here assisting her in life. I am building strength and stamina for what comes next. For those in my shoes or similar keep up the fight and stay strong. We are all hopeful for the next breakthrough that can allow us longer and better quality of life with our friends and loved ones Stay strong my friends and keep up the good fight 
1. JillBrodie Community Admin
 <inline-mention username="JohnnyC" user-id="6699382"/> sending you and your wife lots of strength as you both continue to fight forward! I can't even imagine how difficult all of this is for both of you. Cherish each and every day. Jill, <a href='https://prostatecancer.net' target='_blank'>prostatecancer.net</a> team
Jim Early Moderator & Contributor
Thanks Alfred! I'm encouraged and pleased every time there is a new posting on this forum. The journey that you and so many others are on needs to be shared. Just reading your post and the replies reminds me that we are not alone. I often refer back to a Shakespeare quote from Hamlet...."nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so". That can be a little Pollyanna when we are having our worst days; but it contains more than a grain of truth! Please continue to post and share so this forum can shed a bit of sunshine on our path.
Sue Franke Moderator & Contributor
<inline-mention username="Alfred Samuels" user-id="6921303"/> Alfred, thanks for much for your encouraging and positive article. The will to live is such a strong motivator and I believe that will to live can give us positive results in our cancer battles. Of course, there are days when the fight is harder and discouragement can set in, but I don't think that means our will to live isn't still strong. It's our will to live that keeps us going on those harder days. Thanks again, for your uplifting story. I agree - "never give up, never give in" no matter how hard the struggle.
groundhogy Member
I was very fearful of this disease. I remember my first log ins on various cancer forums. Im sure my fear showed through. I was often admonished to not be fearful. They kinda were shaming me like maybe i shouldnt have had fear. To me, fear means the same as A Will to Live! Yes i was very fearful. But it was based on a very real, very deadly enemy that was staring me down, stalking me. But along with the great fear, i had a strong will to survive. So i say fear is good in this situation. It is rightful fear. It gives you strength to fight. Keep your fear to give you strength, but do not get so fearful that you can not think straight. Thinking straight is what you need to lead you out of this valley of death. Fear gives you the strength to keep walking. 
1. Richard Faust Community Admin
 Hi <inline-mention username="groundhogy" user-id="6905652"/>. Thanks for writing this. Yes, fear is a very legitimate emotion when faced with something like prostate cancer and the will to survive often goes hand in hand with it. People often think of fear as a negative, but like many things, it can be both good and bad. On the positive side of the ledger, it is often essential for maintaining fighting for our health. I'm glad to hear you managed to harness it for this purpose. Wishing you the best. Richard (ProstateCancer.net Team)