Caring for someone after surgery
Hi,
My dad is 71 and undoing a radical prostatectomy at the end of the month. He currently lives alone in the middle of nowhere about and hour away from where the surgery will take place. He doesn't have anyone to take care of him after the procedure so I will be flying back home to be with him as I'm on the other side of the country.
He is being vague about it all and I'm unsure what he'll need from me once I'm there.
I guess I'm just curious how long I should stay for after his procedure to help out. I can't take a ton of time off work and was wondering if a week was fine or will he need someone to be with him longer everyday and more like 2 weeks?
He was being too proud and didn't want me to come at all but who wants to be alone after a surgery.
Any advice would be great, I'm feeling lost.
Hi
. First, let me say that your father is lucky to have you looking out for and advocating on his behalf. Your concerns and questions are certainly understandable - preparing for surgery and the recover can be daunting. Concerning the recovery, I want to share with you this article from our contributor Simon on his post-surgery timeline for recovery: https://prostatecancer.net/living/post-surgery-recovery-timeline. I also want to share with you this "Survivor's Guide to Surgery" page put together by our editorial team: https://prostatecancer.net/living/survivor-guide-surgery. It has a lot of links to our resources/articles on all aspects of recover, from the various physical concerns to the emotional and mental. Also, don't hesitate to speak with his doctors and explain that you will be serving as his caregiver post-op and need some guidance. Hope this information is helpful and that others chime in with their experiences. Please feel free to keep us posted on how things are going and to ask additional questions. You are both welcome here. Best, Richard (ProstateCancer.net Team) 
I realize everyone's experience is different but thought I'd share my experience as my husband's caregiver when he had his radical prostatectomy. He was only 55, though, and with your dad being 71, his age may add to his need for more care. I stayed home from work with my husband for the first week. I monitored his medications and tried to make sure he had everything he needed. I hated going back to work after being home with him for only a week, but it was necessary. I did what I could to make sure some of the things he needed were near his chair so he didn't have to do much. I took time off work to take him for appointments as he was unable to drive himself. Richard has a great suggestion in speaking with the doctors about your dad's post surgical needs. They should be able to give you some good direction about what your dad will need from you. Best wishes to you and to your dad. Being a caregiver is hard in many ways. On the other side of that, helping someone as they heal is also very rewarding. You need to remember, though, to take care of yourself, too.
