For caregivers who are now patients
Just wondering about others who have experienced being a caregiver for a cancer patient and are now a cancer patient as well. My husband has prostate cancer and had bladder cancer. I was with my daughter through her breast cancer last year and this year. Now I'm a breast cancer patient. I've seen so much not only in terms of medical treatment but in terms of emotions, fears, side effects. It's overwhelming.
I haven’t been a caregiver for another cancer patient, but I have been a caregiver for my wife who is a paraplegic.
In 2012 I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma Cancer which is incurable, and in 2019 I was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer.
My wife was so sure that I was going to die and started grabbing control of everything and pushing me away.
As a guy my focus was on survival beyond the statistics and providing for my family. I didn’t know any better!
I researched and worked through all of my treatments and beat the odds with my Myeloma and so when I was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer I did the same thing. I got second opinions and research what was the right treatment for me despite the fact that most guys have surgery even when they don’t need it.
I found that being on hormone therapy could put me at risk of relapse with my Myeloma so I chose SBRT which has proven to be the right choice for me.
Now that I have made it 3 years past my treatment for Prostate and I am 10 years post stem cell transplant for my Multiple Myeloma, I find myself in the caregiver position again.
It comes with challenges, and there are times I thought of giving up on being there for someone who could not reciprocate, but I love my wife and could not even see myself with someone else as I still view myself as damaged merchandise.
Next month will be 35 years that we have been married and while I was ready to walk away this year if our relationship didn’t improve here I am taking care of her again.It's so hard being a caregiver and it's hard being a patient. Being both can sometimes seem impossible. Yet we work through it and march on. That's exactly what you did. You didn't give up on yourself and you didn't give up on your wife. That takes strength, commitment, love and lots of time. And lots of energy! Yet when we are exhausted but also need energy to take care of the people we love we somehow we find that energy an strength. Best wishes to both you and your wife ad you reach 35 years and start moving in year #36. Congratulations.
