Radiation vs proton therapy vs surgery?

I am getting close to my surgery appointment and I am more confused than ever!! I read today, for the first time, that penis length can be negatively affected by surgery! I also know that Proton therapy takes about 8 weeks of daily appointments! And radiation therapy requires hormone therapy. I need advice or stories about all of these procedures!

With all of the information and negative side affects from all of these treatments, I am just about ready to give up, live what life I have and ride off into the sunset!! I know where I am going, so I am not afraid. Has this mindset happened to anyone else? I need advice and support!

I feel like a burden to my family because their lives have changed so much, and it is all because of me! By the way, this is my second cancer diagnosis in about a year. In October of 2024 I was diagnosed with kidney cancer and had it removed. Minimal side affects and a pretty straightforward treatment plan. But this is scaring the shit out of me! And now I am having major, major issues with my insurance. It has become a true Charlie Foxtrot!!

Sorry to barf all of this on here, but I need advice, guidance and support! Thanks for reading this!