Diagnosed with Prostate Cancer, Now What?

My name is Todd Seals. I live in the rural town of Silverlake Wa. 20 miles due west of Mt. St. Helens. In June of 2006 at the age of 42, I was diagnosed with Stage IV Prostate Cancer. At the time of diagnosis I had a PSA of over 3200 and metastasis to my bones, lungs, and lymph nodes. My original prognosis was a year or less. This is my ongoing story... 2006.... it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Okay, so maybe the opening sentence of “A Tale of two Cities” is a tad extreme but in my case it is the truth. 2006 started off in amazing fashion. I had been clean for 5 months of the drug addiction that had destroyed my life, I was recovering financially, and I was in love. Life is good Aside from a nagging sciatic nerve issue, life was really good. The pain was extreme, originating in my lower back and shooting down the back of my right leg and calf. Sitting in a vehicle for any length of time was unbearable. Sleep was only possible in a semi-standing position. Chiropractic did not help and pain medication barely took the edge off. I suppose that somewhere in the back of my mind I knew something was seriously wrong but I was only 42 and still immortal. 6 months previous I had a minor case of pneumonia. The chest x-ray also revealed a small nodule in one of my lungs. The E.R. Doctor pointed it out and said it was probably just a Pulmonary Nodule. He explained that they were common but I should have it checked. All I heard was “common and probably nothing to worry about.” I didn’t have it checked. Things can change quickly In late April 2006, I began urinating blood and my world began to unravel. A cancer diagnosis is a slow process. The initial diagnosis is pretty quick but that is only the beginning. My PCP (primary care physician) upon seeing my urinalysis result and hearing my pneumonia story, immediately ordered a chest X-ray, a complete blood count, and a PSA test. My first test result was the chest X-ray. What used to be a single nodule in my lung had morphed into dozens of overlapping lesions. Suddenly I realized I was no longer immortal. Suddenly, I realized I was screwed. My PSA test results were back the following day and my Dr. called me at work with the results. He told me my PSA was 3216.29. There was no doubt, I had Metastatic Prostate Cancer! I finished my shift at work and went directly to my Physicians office where I received my first Lupron shot and a prescription for Casodex. It was a bad day, to say the least. The next few weeks were a blur. To me, my cancer diagnosis was surreal until I sat in the nuclear medicine department awaiting my scans. With each bottle of contrast consumed and each big machine I lay under, reality slowly sank in. Every scan result yielded more bad news. Bone metastasis, lung metastasis, lymph metastasis. The gravity of my situation came to a head the day my Oncologist gave me a one-year prognosis. I really was screwed. I fired him outright and found a doctor who would not tell me I only had a year to live and then I changed my life. Looking for answers, looking for hope Ten years previous, in what seemed a lifetime ago, I was heavily involved in church. I left church for personal reasons but still carry deep belief. One day, probably my worst day, I sought comfort in the Bible. I opened the book and pointed and read the 2 verses above my finger. “Bless the Lord, Oh my soul bless his name. He who forgives my sins and heals my body of all its diseases.” Psalms 103, 2-3. What are the odds? Wow!!! It changed my perspective. It gave me hope!! It became the rock I would stand on as the storm raged around me. I would recite it over and over in order to sleep. It gave me peace. I believe that hope is the most powerful weapon in our arsenal. It does not matter where you find it. It matters only that you believe. Prior to cancer, I wasted my life. I was a workaholic. I took vacation only when forced to do so. My relationships were dismal. I was alive but I never really lived. A renewed life Cancer changed everything. I am a better husband and father. I am a better friend. I stopped being afraid. One day I stood atop a bridge over a local swimming hole staring down at the water 50 feet below. I then did something I had always been afraid to do. I jumped. It was exhilarating. It also hurt like hell. If you have an enlarged prostate, don’t jump off a bridge and hit the water with your behind. I never said I was smart. Still, as I surfaced and swam to shore, I felt freer and more alive than I ever had. I would no longer waste my life. I would no longer be afraid. I would live each day as my last and choke all the life I could out of each one of them. Somewhere in the midst, I forgot to die. It has been 140 months since my stage 4 diagnosis. My last PSA test came back undetectable. My girlfriend at the time of diagnosis became my wife a year later. We have traveled to as many beautiful places as our bank account allows. We spend our summers on the water. We spend winters in the mountains. Our life is an amazing wonderful ride. I have been blessed with the opportunity to travel around the country sharing my story. I am still able to work full time. I have much to be thankful for and truthfully, I owe it all to cancer. We will all die one day. We are all terminal. The question we must ask is this. What are we doing with the days we are given? I am not a cancer survivor. I am a cancer warrior. Cancer may one day take my life but it will not steal my happiness. I have much more to share and I will continue to do so as time allows. Thank you for reading. Todd [lead_gen showIfLoggedIn="0" campaign="shortcode" source="site" title="Sign up for emails from {{site-name}}:"] Shared decision-making is a collaborative process that allows patients and their healthcare teams to make decisions together. This process takes into consideration the most up-to-date clinical information and research in addition to the patient’s goals, preferences, and values. It also brings experts together in the planning of your care. The healthcare team has its experts in medicine and prostate cancer treatment, and you are an expert on your own personal feelings and what is important to you. Becoming part of the shared decision-making process While you may not feel like an expert, you are an expert on yourself! It is important to recognize that you have a voice in the decision-making process. While it is important to be involved in all aspects of your healthcare to the level you are comfortable, shared decision-making is most appropriate in situations in which there is more than 1 medical option available.1 The process helps to ensure that patients are fully informed of all of their options, including the risks and benefits of these options, and that the things that are most important to the patient are taken into consideration. What questions should be asked? After a prostate cancer diagnosis, you may feel overwhelmed and in a daze. It can be hard to fully absorb all of the information that is being presented to you. Asking questions can help to ensure that you and your healthcare team are on the same page. Below are some questions that may help: About diagnosis What type of prostate cancer do I have? Should I get a second opinion? Are there any other diagnostic tests I should have? What is the stage of my prostate cancer? Has my prostate cancer spread to any other parts of my body? About treatment What treatment options are available for my type of prostate cancer? What are the pros and cons of these treatments? What can I expect from treatment? Will I need to stay in the hospital during treatment? How long will treatment last, and how often will I receive treatment? What is the goal of my treatment? How do you determine if treatment is working? What happens if the treatment is not working? Does my insurance cover this treatment? Who is part of my care team? What are they responsible for? Are clinical trials an option for me? Where can I learn more or get support to make the right decision for me? Will this treatment affect my fertility or chances of starting a family in the future? Other important questions How often will I have appointments and/or scans? Who should I contact if I have questions between appointments? Who handles health insurance and payment questions in this office? What symptoms or side effects are considered emergency symptoms? What happens when my treatment course is completed? Are there special resources I should be aware of (such as support groups or financial resources or programs)? Are there any resources to help me or my family cope? Other considerations to keep in mind Each person and each case of prostate cancer is different. What matters most is that you feel comfortable with your care team and your treatment plan. Asking questions is an important part of managing your care and ensuring you and your care team have decided on the best plan for you! The questions you choose to ask will be unique to your situation, and, just as your needs and priorities may fluctuate, your questions may change over time. [lead_gen showIfLoggedIn="0" campaign="shortcode" source="site"],So often, after learning of a prostate cancer diagnosis, the focus is only on doctors. Yes, doctors play a crucial role in surviving prostate cancer, but they are not the whole story. Emotional and mental health are also extremely important throughout the process. To hear more about how men with prostate cancer look after their wellbeing during the treatment process, we asked the community: “What advice would you give to someone newly diagnosed with prostate cancer?” More than 175 community members offered their experience and advice. Here is what they said about how to handle the emotional and mental challenges of the early fight against prostate cancer. Surround yourself with support Nobody wants to feel alone while going through something difficult -- and you do not have to go it alone. Friends and family are great, especially if they just let you vent without trying to ‘fix’ the situation. That said, you may get even more from talking with men who have had or are going through prostate cancer. There are online communities, such as ProstateCancer.net, and your hospital may also have a support group (which might be meeting on Zoom or a similar online platform). “Talk with men who have gone through it.” “Surround yourself with support.” Live your life as you did before After diagnosis, it can be easy to fear the worst -- and allow that fear to have you believe your life is over. It is not. Your life will be different, moving forward. But there is life ahead. Several in the community shared that it is important to keep living, whether that means Sunday night dinners with families or Friday date night or whatever it is. Still make time for the activities that bring you happiness. “Do not stop making plans. Pull your friends and family close.” “The options today are very positive. Still live your life as you did before.” Do not rush—most men have time Fear and panic can lead someone to feel that they need to make a decision yesterday. Yes, time is important, but so is making a decision while clear headed. Take time to do your research and also take care of yourself. You need to take care of yourself throughout it all, starting at the beginning. “Give yourself enough time to recover from the initial shock of the cancer diagnosis. Do not make quick decisions, especially while in shock. Take the time to understand your test results, research the options, and seek multiple opinions.” “Do not rush—most men have time. Rest in between research because you will get tired.” Maintain a strong mental presence An often overlooked side effect of a cancer diagnosis is possible depression. It is hard to wake up and fight a battle every day. Yes, the odds of this one are in your favor, but it is still hard to grieve the life you had before this journey started. Keep this in mind, and do what you can to safeguard your emotional wellbeing. Talk with friends who lift you up. Allow yourself to rest, but do not let that rest languish into avoidance or isolation. Enlist friends or family members to go for walks with you or do other things that keep you feeling hopeful. “Maintain a strong mental presence. It will be easy to get depressed, but you are alive today and will be for more days after.” “Take it one day at a time and never give in.” “There will be tough times but there is hope. Do not give up and do not quit. “Stay positive.” We want to say thank you to everyone who offered such helpful suggestions. If you have other suggestions or want to share what works well for you when feeling overwhelmed by prostate cancer, tell us more in the comments. [lead_gen showIfLoggedIn="0" campaign="shortcode" source="site"] Bill West talks about the emotional toll of his prostate cancer diagnosis, including the isolation he felt, the ways he learned to process it, and how he navigated the diagnosis with his husband. Needing to be alone When I was a boy, we had a cat called Tiger. When he got old, he went off one day to a corner in the basement. He didn’t want anyone holding or touching him. My mother periodically went down to the room and sat on a chair reading her book. When I asked what was wrong with Tiger, she said that he knew he was dying and needed to be alone. When I was diagnosed, I told my partner, then left the room to be alone. For the next 2 weeks, I checked survivor rate tables and treatment options. When anyone at work asked what was wrong, I explained away my distracted, flat, emotionless tone as processing a family death. I didn’t tell them I was mourning the loss of immortal me. Taking time to process The low point was realizing that my father was dead, my mother recently joined him, and I was alone with a disease I didn’t understand. I told my partner, who would just hold me at night and say that I needed time to process everything. It seemed cruel to drag him into this vortex until I figured out what it was. Slowly the numbness gave way to a creeping dread and finally to a surreal calm. Overall, it was surreal because nothing I read or thought could alter the trajectory of the emotional path from nothing to calm. I would sit in meetings at work and, without warning, a recurring sense of existing alone would strike and subside. Slowly a calm certainty emerged. Although I did have to go through this awful disease alone (no one could do it for me), it wasn’t going to be the reason I died. Sharing my diagnosis with others At this point, I could discuss it with my partner. He asked how I could be calm and not shooting back drinks. I said that it was no longer a mortality issue for me but a medical problem to be solved, but I still felt like the only person alive who had to face this problem. I didn’t want to tell anyone else because I didn’t want to be that cancer patient. After about a month, I finally told an acquaintance about the diagnosis. Her father had been treated a decade earlier. It was a fact, not a pitying memory she was recounting. As I became more confident, I told others and soon felt like I was surrounded by people who had this disease, lived through it with someone, or knew someone who had it. I started seeking out stories to help navigate the medical path. Choosing a treatment I made the decision to have a robotically assisted prostatectomy. I’m not sure it was a totally informed or correct decision, but it was one made from a not-alone place. After surgery, we returned home to an overheated bedroom, pain pill deliriums, and Mouse, our kitten who slept at the end of the bed, no doubt dreaming innocent dreams of her cat-like independence. [lead_gen showIfLoggedIn="0" campaign="shortcode" source="site"]

Diagnosed with Prostate Cancer, Now What?

Becoming A Cancer Warrior

Making Medical Decisions Work for You

How to Stay Centered When Newly Diagnosed with Prostate Cancer

Dealing With the Emotions of a Prostate Cancer Diagnosis

Prostate Cancer and The Power of Love

Talking About Prostate Cancer Treatment Costs With ZERO360

Prostate Cancer and How Not to Make a Decision

Mental Health: Mind, Body, Spirit

What Not to Say to Someone with Prostate Cancer

All I Can Say

Diagnosed with Prostate Cancer, Now What?

Becoming A Cancer Warrior

Making Medical Decisions Work for You

How to Stay Centered When Newly Diagnosed with Prostate Cancer

Dealing With the Emotions of a Prostate Cancer Diagnosis

Prostate Cancer and The Power of Love

Talking About Prostate Cancer Treatment Costs With ZERO360

Prostate Cancer and How Not to Make a Decision

Mental Health: Mind, Body, Spirit

What Not to Say to Someone with Prostate Cancer

All I Can Say

Follow us