What's a Mature Cancer Patient?

By Dan Franke

2 min read

Since I recently turned seventy, I was thinking about what "mature" means. We all have heard the expression "they are mature for their age," or, "he’s not very mature for a grown man." The Britannica Dictionary definition of mature is: Having or showing the mental and emotional qualities of an adult.¹

So what does it mean to be a "mature" cancer patient?

Getting diagnosed

Do you remember when you were a new cancer patient? It’s something I will never forget. A lot like a toddler grasping for an adult’s hand to lead the way. The doctor said "have a seat," took a breath, and said "you have cancer." That’s all I heard that day. I went directly to thinking it was a death sentence and planning for a wake and family notifications.

Then the doctors took charge and told me what was going to happen next, all the details of the way they treat my disease, and where I need to be and when.

What's a person new to cancer to do?

Being former military, I was good at following orders with no questions asked. So two months into being a prostate cancer patient, I was up on an operating table, head pointing down, toes up, and getting seven holes cut in my belly while the doctor was cutting my prostate gland out with a robotic machine.

Prior to the surgery, I did have a momentary glimpse of patient maturity when I researched robotic surgery and when it should and should not be done. I saw something that said if my PSA was over a certain amount, it might not be as effective. I did broach the subject with the surgeon. He kind of brushed me off, saying that he thought he could still get it all and we should go forward.

So this newbie flinched, paused, and said “OK.” Hence my head down on the board. The doctor it would be nerve-sparing, and a normal sex life should continue, too. Well, he did not get it all, and chemo was required. The cancer was farther out than the doctor thought, too, and he had to cut more. That meant no more man stuff for me.

Newbie gone and mature patient shows up

Years later I was told that surgery could have been avoided, and I could have gone straight to chemo and possibly avoided some complications. At that point, this “newbie” patient became mature.

A new me is born. I have learned to research my disease and treatment well. I have also learned to stand my ground when I think something is amiss, or I think my treatment should go another way.

Second opinions are a staple of a mature patient. No need to worry about a doctor's hurt feelings. You’re the one being cut, not the doctor. Check things out before you jump. Take a breath; it doesn't have to be done in an instant. It took 55 years for me to get diagnosed. I have realized a few days or even weeks of delay is not the end of the world while getting more information to make a solid treatment plan.

Carefully considering options

These days my doctor and I discuss options. I know enough to contribute ideas and options for my next treatment options, and I will not just go blindly into an operation without doing my homework. My advice: be a mature patient. No place for sheep here.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The ProstateCancer.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Join the conversation

Please read our rules before commenting.

Beverly Baldwin Moderator & Contributor
I love this topic and glad you addressed it! Conducting your own research is crucial to your treatment options and plans. I believe that some doctors purposely had my dad go through things that weren't absolutely necessary. He had great insurance might I add. But, when you are unsure about things, people often times can and will take advantage of our lack of knowledge. Second opinions can give you that satisfaction, as you stated. I wish you blessings on your journey to healing! Beverly (Prostatecancer.net Moderator)
acambridge Member
I vowed to not let prostrate cancer change my life!
DaveS Member
I was diagnosed with Gleason score of 10 PCa, age 64. Had the robotic assisted surgery a month and a half later. My surgery was over 7 hours due to the architecture of my prostate. Two weeks later, I had a heart attack at home, undiagnosed, I thought that I had really bad heartburn. The next day I had an out of hospital Sudden Cardiac Arrest. After getting out of the hospital, I now had to look at my cancer treatment in the context of my cardiac concerns. I didn't do ADT in conjunction with radiation therapy when I had recurrence in a year. Or a year later when I to have cystoscopic surgeries due to radiation cystitis and PCa in my urethra (twice). At the third occurrence of urethral cancer I was sent to a medical oncologist. The first did not listen. Didn't really care about my concerns with ADT and my cardiac issues, didn't want to do any further testing, just wanted to put me on Lupron. Next doctor, different cancer center did listen, ordered more imaging PSMA PET scan. But he left. Third MD, listened as well, sent me to the cancer center main office to their top prostate cancer guy. Went back to the third doc, she's local, does research and collaborates with my cardiologist. I'm on ORGOVYX, almost 3 months now. Some side effects, but less intrusive than from Lupron or Firmagon (for me). Going to Abi-Predi additionally in a week or so. Keeping educated, listening to a trusted physician, talking to my brothers in the PC community. Keeping F'ing Going. Go's bless brothers Dave
CommunityMember758 Member
Great article on being a mature cancer patient. It has bothered me for 5 years now that I had to make the decision to remove my prostate or other treatments. I knew nothing and researched as best I could. Removal didn't do it then radiation and hormone therapy and it's back now. In 2 lymph nodes and on Lupron and Erleada.
Jim Early Moderator & Contributor
This is a topic that is so important and so never ending! One of the issues with prostate cancer is the lightening speed of advancements in the field. Unfortunately, primary physicians, NPs and PAs can't be expected to keep up with every advancement. Even busy urologists often fall into treatment patterns that may not be the best for an individual patient. In a video, I recently watched, Dr. Kwon from Mayo Clinic made an interesting point. There is an ever expanding variety of treatment approaches now available including surgery, radiation, chemotherapy, immunotherapy, radio nucleotide treatment, etc. He notes that most cancers are treated with combination therapy to help stunt or kill cancer cells that are likely not all identical. He makes the point that we should shoot for cure and not just palliation. If you aren't sure you're getting the very best advice then read, research and get second opinions until your research and your treatment team agree! It is your body and your life and you only have one.
CommunityMember5adede Member
 Thank for the article. For me, educating myself while getting my test and exams out of the way, made all the difference in the world. I was prepared for my second opinion . Dealing with cancer is unpredictable, until knowledge comes into play. Blessings.