How many patients get a diagnosis without an explanation of what lies ahead?

Hi ughhh I wish you had more information. Many of our community members have said they had to go for multiple opinions to find a doctor who provides them with all the information and options. Get another opinion until you feel like you can make an educated decision of how you want to move forward. Jill, prostatecancer.net team

I specifically sought out the doctors I have because they have reputations as the best in my area. In both cases, they basically gave me some options and then said we will see after that. As far as the options go, I've asked which they would choose if in the same situation as me. And then I took that option. I mean, I appreciate the options, but my insurance company and I are paying them for the best advice possible. So that's what I want.

Since both doctors have done this options thing, I suspect this is the current approach deemed best in the industry. I understand that it gets the patient to buy in to their treatment and feel like they are in control. But really, I just want to know what the supposed best doctor for this in the state actually thinks I should do.

I know it's possible that they would have guided me to their first treatment choice if I hadn't coaxed it out of them. But I don't need to "believe" I'm making a decision when I've chosen them, as the experts, to make that decision for me. I'm an engineer, not a doctor. Just tell me what they would do, if in my shoes, answer all my questions, and then get the treatment started quickly. And don't sugarcoat my long-term prognoses. Something eventually gets everyone. I have what is likely incurable Stage 4b prostate cancer. I'd love to live forever, but I know I probably won't. So I'd like some honest odds on certain things from my expert doctors, please. I've got planning to do, and I need to know my chances.

Well written

My diagnosis was made by a urologist who told me I had two years to live. I suspect that he is autistic as he was just focused on my age (51 at the time) and the stats.

I immediately got rid of him and got another urologist in another hospital. That urologist referred me to a Radio-Oncologist with whom I did not get along because of his attitude. He was very arrogant and seemed to enjoyed saying "No matter what you might try, nothing will ever work outside of whatever I tell you.". I told him that I would not do any treatment immediately as I needed to do my own research.

He then recommended that I no longer see him and passed on my file to a medical oncologist. That person is a gem. We can have real discussions on what to expect and what our options are. Rather than being dismissive, he actually thanks me when I inform him of a study that he had not yet heard about.

All this to say that what we'll hear at diagnosis varies greatly from one doctor to the next. If you do not have faith in your current doc, you should ask for a referral to someone else for another opinion.

Best of luck to you.