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How do I talk about intimacy with my partner or spouse?

While some couples already openly discuss sex & intimacy, others may be starting the conversation for the first time. How do you bring up intimacy issues after prostate cancer? What challenges or successes have you had?

  1. Our support group's social worker suggested I ask my wife what she thought about dealing with cancer. This opened up the conversation.

    I am on lupron (AKA ADT, AKA chemical castration, AKA hormone treatment). Castrate sex is intentional, not automatic and the need for foreplay is probably a Godsend to women. I have been fully functional the full time, we just needed to learn how castrate sex works.

    1. I received a reply that is not showing here that ProstateCancerCoach felt nothing below while on lupron.

      True. I don't feel a thing until aroused, so the foreplay. Once aroused she has my attention. If I weren't dead set on continuing sexual function I could easily pass on "exercise" for lack of interest.

      Castrate sex is very interesting.

      It appears that some number of men on lupron may be sexually functional if positive expectations are set at the beginning.

      1. I wrote this article about our experiences of sex/intimacy whilst on ADT AND Abiraterone. I'm not sure that having higher expectations would have made a lot of difference to me. It was sad watching erections fade away over 5 months. Now, thanks to chemical intervention, there is at least an inkling of an erection that generally can lead to orgassm and I'm blessed that we still have intimacy https://prostatecancer.net/living/testosterone/

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