Self-Pleasure and Masturbation

Last updated: October 2022

For the past several months, I’ve been writing about Selfless Sex, where you focus on the pleasure of your partner. So now, let’s turn around and talk about your pleasure. A moderator at gave me the idea to write about self-pleasure and masturbation. Such a great idea!

For men who are dealing with a level of erectile dysfunction, masturbation could be a great way to get your motor running again. Actually, there are many other benefits to masturbation that may aid in the healing process and help you to return to being sexually active again. I hope the information presented here helps.

Practice in private

After having surgery, you may wonder if your penis works and how it will  respond to touch and being stimulated. Of course, give yourself plenty of time to heal properly before starting. If there is any sort of pain, you will have to stop.

With that said, try to pleasure yourself and see how you respond. What is your erection like? Is it a full erection? How does it feel? Were you able to orgasm?

I recommend starting alone and using lube. Try to find a time where you will not be disturbed and no one will walk in on you. When no one is watching you, there is no additional pressure.

Incorporate Kegels into your exercise routine

Try to do Kegel exercises before you start your treatment or have your surgery. Having a strong pelvic floor will not interfere with the surgery. In reality, it may help with the healing process and assist with bladder incontinence.

Add your partner when ready

When you think you are ready, involve your partner in sex play. It doesn't have to be full-on intercourse – not even close. Start slow. I’m talking about caresses, massages, and maybe oral sex. Your partner may be excited to be with you again in an intimate way, so enjoy yourself. Two quick suggestions:

  1. Mutual masturbation – You can explore each other again by masturbating each other. You will probably have to guide your partner so they won’t hurt you by being too aggressive or too rough. They may treat you with some caution so they won’t hurt you, but don't hesitate to express yourself and how you are feeling. You may have to talk them through it. Plus, you are pleasuring them as well. It is meant to be a good fun time for all.
  2. Oral sex – Once again, your partner may want to perform oral sex on you, which is fine. Once again, you may have to talk them through it so there is no pain for you. They probably will take care not to hurt you on their own.

Have sex

When you think you are ready, you can progress to intercourse again. At the same time, for some men, self-pleasuring and mutual masturbation is enough. Proceed at your own place. Also, not every man is with a partner. I think sexual pleasure is important, so even if you are single, you still deserve sexual release and pleasure.

Check in first

I always recommend talking to your doctor before being sexual again, even if it's a solo session. Depending on the treatment or surgery, the body needs time to correctly heal. By being sexual too early, you may end up hurting yourself or something worse. Once you get the green light from your doctor, enjoy yourself. Thank you for reading.

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