Selfless Sex – Oral Sex

Last updated: October 2022

Earlier in this series, I mentioned how some men may have to open up a bit and explore new things after prostate cancer treatment. Well, this is one area where some men really need to open up and add something to their repertoire.

Oral sex is great for relationships, and it actually has the ability to increase intimacy. Your sexuality may have changed due to prostate cancer and the treatments. You may have had to become less penis focused. Selfless Sex can help with that, and oral sex is a major part of being selfless with your partner.

After what you have been through and may still be going through with prostate cancer, think about the emotional, mental, and physical issues it created for your relationship. Rebuilding sexual intimacy with your partner is important. Reigniting the sexual flame is a good way to start, and oral sex can help with that.

Getting closer

A few times in the past, I have used “oral sex” as a metaphor for communication. But not this time. Believe it or not, oral sex is a great way to build intimacy in your relationship. Your partner is in a vulnerable position, and they trust you not to harm them. In reality, you are giving them a lot of pleasure.

How do I do it?

Please excuse the heterosexual bias, but it is my understanding that some men do not perform oral sex with female partners because they don't know how. Here are a few tips to get you started:

  1. The clitoris (clit) is very importantto sexual pleasure. You can use your tongue to lick it and lips to suck on it. It is really sensitive. If you are not sure where it is, your partner will tell you.
  2. Build up the intimacy. Don't just dive in. Take your time. Kiss her inner thigh and the areas around her vaginal opening. This area is sensitive too. She can even feel your breath, and she may like that too.
  3. When you make it to her clit, go slow. With the tongue, you can run circles around the clit and then reverse directions. Be gentle, and pay attention to her sounds and body language.
  4. Her vaginal opening should be right under your chin. It may be good to move away from the clitoris and slowly lick her inner lips (labia) and her vaginal opening. If she needs a break, you can focus on her genital area with your tongue and lips.
  5. Finally, have fun while you are doing this. It is not a chore by any means. Be passionate about it but not too aggressive. Be sure to listen. Get into it. You can make sounds too. She may interpret that as you being really focused on her pleasure – because you are.

Find what works best for you and your partner. Oral sex is one way to show that you really care about your partner and their pleasure. Remember PC has not ended your sex life. It just made it more passionate.

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