No treatment

By CommunityMember8774452

1 min read

A partner experience with prostate cancer

My ex denied me intimacy for 16 years. Now I have cancer and she divorced me. I AM NOT treating this. NO WAY, NO HOW. Not after all that. I will live as long as I live and am choosing to not suffer this one last indignity.

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Grover Member
Wow!!! it seems to me you have made, for what ever reason,a choice to stay with a bad person for a very long time ,I understand not wanting treatment, I am haveing a hard time going forward myself, after a recurrence after removal of my prostrate, due to poss side effect, I do not know how advance you are BUT I HIGHLY Recommend IF YOU ARE JUST STARTING THIS ,OR JUST FOUND OUT You Have Prostrate cancer, THERE IS A TREATMENT ,that is very Promising WITH LITTLE TO NO SIDE EFFECTS, No long term ED, IF YOU ARE A Candidate!!! FOR IT , ITS CALLED HIFU. I ONLY WISH SOME ONE TOLD ME ABOUT IT. BUT IM PRAYING IM A Candidate FOR IT NOW!!. IF I AM I WILL FIGHT TO GET THIS Treatment, Drive where ever i have to ,because i see it as my only real and safe option , I THINK IF YOU LOOK UP HIFU ( High Intensity Focused Ultra Sound, ) I BELIEVE YOU WILL BE VERY PLEASE IF YOU CAN GET IT, MAYBE JUST SAVE YOUR LIFE, As I said FROM ALL I HAVE READ THERE ARE VERY LITTLE to NO long term SIDE EFFECTS, NO HORMONE SHOTS, NO SERGERY involved!! ,, AFTER Treatment, which is Only one visit for treatment, about 1 or two week recovery, NO long term ED, BECAUSE NOTHING IS CUT AND NO HORMONE SHOTS, BASICALLY AFTER TREATMENT , YOU JUST CK PSA , THATS IT!!! Hope this eases your mind, but i agree quality of life means everything to some of us.
Grover Member
NO Treatment
Grover Member
This has me thinking Now That I also Might Choose No FURTHER Treatment ,IS There Is A Web Site Or discussion Site For People That have Not choose treatment, where they speak of how there progressing or not, and what there feeling Is now a 1 yr or 5 yrs later , and how they feel about making that choice. 
1. JillBrodie Community Admin
 Hi <inline-mention username="Grover" user-id="8657216"/> I am sending over this forum discussion from our community, you are welcome to join in here: <a href='https://prostatecancer.net/forums/treatment-advice' target='_blank'>https://prostatecancer.net/forums/treatment-advice</a>. Jill, <a href='https://prostatecancer.net' target='_blank'>prostatecancer.net</a> team
Grover Member
As i have mention before i just cant seem to justify getting IMRT AFTER A RP, it doesnt make sence to me to Hit the whole Prostrate BED WITH RAD, Which means the rectum , bladder and lymph node gets pretty much a direct hit of rad, HOW CAN THERE NOT BE HIGH RISK OF DAMAGE, to organs that now are IN PERFECTLY FINE SHAPE , ALL WITH HOPES OF HITTING THE CANCER CELLS, BECAUSE AS I WAS TOLD BY DOCTOR IN REALTY THERE JUST GUESSING AS TO WHERE THE CELLS ARE In The Prostrate Bed, Some one tell me how that makes sence. 
1. YankinHB2022 Member
 I agree with you, my thoughts exactly. I had an RP in 2009. My PSA was > 0.1 until 2015 when it changed to 0.1. My urologist at the time wanted to see me immediately to discuss the change and recommended I meet with Radiation Oncology. I asked him two questions: 1) can you tell me if it is definitely prostate cancer and 2) can you tell me where it is located precisely? The answers were no but data indicates it is likely PC in the area of the former prostate. I said watchful waiting is the direction I want to go. Fast forward, I relocated, new urologist in 2023. My PSA is 0.8, fourteen years after surgery. A 2023 MRI was clear and I have no indication of PC. My current urologist agrees with my approach. I have only recently had ED and began using Sildenafil with limited success. Also just began having some minor urinary leakage, possibly due to 20 lb weight gain and no time for vigorous exercise due to a divorce and relocation. Until 2022 I was an avid cyclist doing 100 miles a week and eating clean and healthy, which I hope to resume this year. I feel good and will take what I have instead of the damage that is certain with radiation and chemo. Best wishes to you all and keep the faith in yourselves and in The LORD!
Westlain Member
No treatment is certainly an option. My wife taught me, through her 6 years of Ovarian cancer and numerous treatments , that quality of life is better than quantity. It comes down to a mindset. Some people want to do everything and anything just to live longer, but we all know we die in the end. I am not afraid of dying, I just want effective palliative and then hospice care to minimize the pain. I have recently been diagnosed with intermediate risk PCa and am toying with treatment decisions, or not. I am on the older side and have lived a charmed life. I am pragmatic and the cancer diagnosis was not a surprise based on family history, so I don't have that knee jerk reaction of "I must get treatment immediately". We all have our reasons for the decisions we make, we just need to make them objectively. Good luck with yours CommunityMember8774452
Grover Member
Westlain thank You for your responce, There are two very good options out there, that have little to No side effects, one Is Proton The Other is HIFU, You might Qualify For one of them, Hifu is the easiest, But i think its for low grade,as Proton i have read has been zse for advance stage, not a doctor,but i have gotten alot of info from this site, THERE IS A GROUP from Calf Proton center Called 10,000 ballon something support group , all have had proton And most rave about Proton treatment., you nust read about there life's after treatment amazing, Which i hoping i can get one, But as i said IMRT, that just doesnt make sence for me , i have had nothing but Bad Doctors, as far as im concerned, my Son gave me this site and it is very informative and helpful, all cases are differant, But im VERY SURE IF THE doctors would have told me of these other treatment , or the chance of a recurrence , I would have chose and qualified for HIFU or Proton, but now after a RP , ( removal) options are less and risk of side effects seem much worse, atleast when it comes To IMRT. And if that ends up my only option, i probaly will do nothing. Have a blessed and Merry Christmas. Ps Ck out Proton or HIFu , im sure you will be glad you did.
Bobby Bofinger Moderator & Contributor
Grover, great advice regarding Proton therapy (aka Proton beam radiation). I had it 3 years ago, I am a member of the 10,000+ club, and I continue to rave about the treatment. Communitymember, please go to <a href='https://protonbob.com' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>protonbob.com</a> and learn as much as you can. I have also written fairly extensively about my journey to proton, and also what the actual treatment is like. If you have some additional time, please take a look at those. Catching the disease early is the key to success!
kbong Member
The more I read about these treatment /effects stories the more I come to the conclusion that the homework and Dr. visits/tests are critical to making the best decisions for your individual case/circumstances. I live in Hawaii on the Big Island am 70 yrs old and was diagnosed in Sept.2023 . The ONLY reason cancer was found then was because I was having the frequent urination problems that so many of us men have as they age due to BHP. I had PSA tests previously yrs apart and they were 3.5 four yrs later 5.5 and the most recent done that august was 4.4. I was interested in the Urolift procedure and the urologist recommended a MRI prior to that procedure and two lesions were found...further biopsy produced 12 of 12 positive samples. Gleeson score was 4+3= 7 and was found to be contained in the prostate by Later PET scan. I came to this site immediately from being diagnosed and has proved to be a real blessing in maneuvering the minefield of Prostate Cancer Treatments. You would think that your urologist would be the main source of treatment options but no not the case. I saw a surgeon in Oahu , my urologist here on Big Island then had teleconferences with two FRED Hutchinson Cancer Center doctors in Seattle, one a surgeon the other a radiologist. None of them even mentioned Proton therapy and when asked shied away from that treatment as they felt it wasn't thoroughly researched as of yet. My neighbor had had it done at Loma Linda so I knew about it from him and from here on this forum. So long and short of it all was the fact that I live over an hour away from radiation facilities and 7weeks of daily trips to and from didn't interest me at all. The Cancer center Radiologist recommended surgery and the Oahu surgeon recommended radiation....so I went with the one and done approach and opted for radical robot assisted prostatectomy which I had done 4days ago Mar.27. Surgery went very well and recovery so far not a big deal....remains to be seen if any and how bad the side effects will be. If I need follow up radiation in the future I think I would go proton at that point. I would say that your decision on your treatment will hinge on what will wok best for you in your life at this juncture. Convenience was big for me so thus the surgery ...for you maybe not. Somewhere along in the discussions the radiologist told me that if I had radiation that I then could no longer have surgery as the scarring would make it too difficult but the reverse of surgery Then radiation if necessary would be a better option.....I told him that it was a pretty important piece of the puzzel to be getting this far along in my treatment decisions. The point I guess I'm trying to make is that the Docs are NOT infallible and make generalizations and mistakes too and that it is hard to separate the wheat from the chaff sometimes . A big thanks to the people that run this site and good luck toall you brothers under fire out there.
1. JillBrodie Community Admin
 <inline-mention username="kbong" user-id="8676952"/> thank you so much for sharing this with us. You make such important points about being an advocate for yourself and doing your research so that you know all the pieces of the puzzle. I am glad to hear your surgery went well and your recovery, so far, has been ok. I hope this continues for you. Please keep us posted on how you are feeling. Jill, <a href='https://prostatecancer.net' target='_blank'>prostatecancer.net</a> team