Finding a Support Person for Doctor Appointments

3 min read

People with prostate cancer often face complex treatment plans and multiple doctor visits. Brain fog, fatigue, and problems concentrating can be side effects, too. That is why medical experts often recommend you bring someone with you to doctor’s appointments. This extra person can help you remember questions, explain how prostate cancer impacts your life, and take notes for you to use later.

However, not everyone has a close friend or family member available to support them in this way. The reasons are many. Nearby family may be older and in frail health. Working-age friends may not be able to take time off to attend frequent appointments. Your partner may be immune-compromised and must avoid going into hospitals and clinics. Or your family or friends may disagree with your choices about your healthcare.

A community member recently asked a good question: "Where do you find a person to go with you and support you during doctor’s appointments if you don’t have a friend or family member who can do that?"

In response, we asked this question of several community members who are doctors, nurses, and medical school students. Keep reading to learn about their suggestions.

Ask your healthcare team for advice

Depending on your condition, the clinic or hospital where you receive treatment may offer this kind of support. The person assigned to you may be called a social worker, case manager, or patient navigator.

These staff members usually do not sit in on a doctor’s appointment, but they may follow a patient for long periods of time. They can offer help such as:

Setting up appointments and referrals
Coordinating care between doctors
Getting copies of records
Navigating insurance claims and denials
Coordinating new prescriptions and refills

This kind of support frees you to focus on your appointments and self-care. These professionals may even be able to help you prepare for appointments or speak to your doctor if you feel you are not heard.

You may also ask your doctor if they would allow you to have someone in the appointment virtually by placing a video call during your appointment.

Call a local medical school

There are at least 150 accredited medical schools in the United States. If you happen to live close to one of these schools, you may be able to find a support person to go to doctor’s visits with you.^1,2

Medical students may need to perform a certain number of hours of volunteer work, and helping you with appointments may qualify. If you live close to a 4-year university, the pre-med department may be able to link you to a student club with volunteers.

Call the school’s student affairs department to find out which organizations on campus exist and if you qualify for help. You can also ask your doctor if they can help connect you to a nearby medical school.

Hire a professional case manager

If your healthcare team or a local medical school does not provide a case manager for free, you may be able to hire a professional case manager. The Commission for Case Manager Certification offers a directory of certified case managers working in the United States, US territories, US Armed Forces, and Canada.³

Local support groups

You may be able to find someone to help at a local support group for people living with prostate cancer. One advantage is that these people are likely to understand your needs and be familiar with the vocabulary and treatments commonly used for prostate cancer.⁴

However, you should use this option with caution. You will be giving someone else access to your most personal information, including health details, finances, and where you live.⁴

Finding help online

There are several online services that link people to support services and new friends. Three well-known ones are:

Caring.com
Care.com
RentAFriend.com

Like befriending someone in a local support group, there are potential dangers to this method. Unlike someone who works for your doctor or goes to a medical school, these people may not be bound by any professional ethics that require them to keep your information private. And people from these services may not have any expertise in prostate cancer, so their use to you may be limited.

Have you ever needed a support person outside your close circle of friends and family? How did you handle it? Please share your ideas below!

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The ProstateCancer.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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Jim Early Moderator & Contributor
This article is very comprehensive and provides a lot of vital information. As a physician for over 50 years I know just how important it is for patients to have the ability to understand their care. So often the atmosphere and language in medical settings are both foreign and intimidating. In addition, not all medical personnel are good at sensing their patient's needs and ability to understand what is presented. Too often, presenting the "facts" is assumed to cover the provider's duties. I remember a patient years ago who came in for lab and X-ray results which revealed breast cancer with possible spread. After 15 minutes of trying to gently let the patient know using "tumor" and "malignant" and "we'll get right on this" and "there is hope"; the patient looked at me and sighed and said "well, at least it isn't cancer!" In our prostate cancer support group, it is common for new members to admit their lack of understanding of their cancer. After listening to the group members and hearing the myriad stories that make up the meeting, new members almost always claim to be grateful and excited about being more knowledgeable and more able to be involved with their treatment decisions. As a facilitator of the group, I often offer to go over their visit summaries and treatment plans. Other members of the group are also incredibly knowledgeable of their disease and new members often bond with members who have a similar medical situation or expresses an advanced understanding of what the new member is going through. This topic is so very important. If patients don't accurately understand their cancer situation they can't be expected to make the best decisions. There are so many new diagnostic and treatment options available that it is more critical than ever for patients get all the support they need. Reread this article and keep it in mind whenever you find yourself, friends or family in need of help navigating this complex illness.
Beverly Baldwin Moderator & Contributor
Very informative article! This is good to know for people who have support as well. Being that I was only 24 when my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer, I was unable to take off of work every other day! Fortunately, I had a mom and sister who was able to help out as well. I truly believe in multiple sets eyes and ears tuning in to appointments, even if they are through video. Some appointments may ask for the patient to make a decision/decisions and they would have to be actively tuned in to do so. Thank you for sharing this information! Beverly (prostatecancer.net Team)